To Where You Are
by SIAA
Summary: Trying to get home for Christmas is not as easy as it seems. Helen and Nikki's paths cross in the most unusual of circumstances. AU Nikki/Helen
1. Chapter 1

To Where You Are

Chapter one

**6am - Christmas Eve**

London's Heathrow airport, the largest and busiest in the English capital, was buzzing with people, despite the day and hour. Most queued patiently with their families at the designated check-in desk, whilst others tried, not so patiently, to manoeuvre the luggage trolleys across the slippery marble flooring, while at the same time trying to keep a semblance of dignity.

Nikki Wade sat In the corner of a small designated smoking area, her carry-on luggage by her side, a cigarette in one hand and a large, black, Columbian coffee fresh from Starbucks in the other. She needed her daily injection of caffeine and nicotine just to get her through the morning, otherwise she was incapable of functioning, or acting like a normal, rational human being. Nikki Wade without her addictions sated was not a woman you wanted to cross. She had a fiery, tempestuous nature at the best of times; a temperament that had earned her the nickname of Jekyll and Hyde. It had become a running joke between her fellow colleagues at the nightclub she owned, and regularly they would take bets to see how long it would take their boss to flip her lid over the slightest of thing.

Sitting In the standard, un-cushioned, plastic chair, as she waited on her flight being called, Nikki keenly observed her surroundings. She noted how "UnChristmassy" the entire building looked. With only one tiny tree that was barely decorated, and a few flimsy and ancient looking pieces of tinsel hanging strategically around the ceiling, it was hard to tell that the festive season was less than 24 hours away. There was not even a Santa in sight. The only giveaway was the thick, crisp layer of snow that sprawled beautifully, yet dangerously, on the roads outside. Not even the soon to be holidaymakers gave hint to the month. T-shirts, shorts and sandals seemed to be the clothing of choice as the Brit's prepared to jet off into the sun for two-weeks of sun, sea and sangria - a far cry from home. Nikki openly scoffed at them and their over-zealous, enthusiastic ignorance. It was typical working-class, British behaviour. The same people would return home in 14 days, with liver damage, scarlet skin that peeled at an alarming rate, too much duty-free that they would not declare at Customs, a donkey under one arm, a sombrero under the other and they would still be wearing the skimpiest of beach clothes despite the temperature being below zero.

People watching was a hobby Nikki took great interest in. Her late grandmother always used to say, "there's nothing as queer as folk," and how right she had been.

Nikki rolled her eyes as she stubbed out her fag, all the while trying to suppress the want to scream "Bah, Humbug,". She hated this time of year, and all the sparkly falseness that went with it. It was like one big Julie Andrews film. People with catatonic grins that didn't meet their eyes - all singing, all dancing, happiness and hilarity. The fight to buy the best most expensive present, only to receive a book token and a pair of socks in return. Large family dinners, with relatives you detested and their hyped-up kids, high on E-numbers begging you to play with their toys; and that was all before the twister board came out and the charades started,

"British Airway, Flight 37, Flying to Glasgow Prestwick Airport is now boarding at gate 11. Please have your boarding passed ready for inspection." The refined female voice announced over the speakers from the information desk and before she had a chance to finish, Nikki was on her feet and trying to spring towards the allocated gate before anyone else did. She wanted a window seat, not for the view, but so she wouldn't be continually disturbed by some moron with a bladder problem who was up and down more times than lift attendant. The only thing worse would be getting plonked next to a gobshite who insisted on chatting for the entire journey about the wonders of aerodynamics. All she wanted was 50 minutes of peace and quiet, undisturbed with no frustrations; but the chances of that with her luck were slim to none. Everywhere she went these days someone seemed to piss her off, and today was unlikely to be any different.

"May I see your boarding pass, please, Madam?" A extremely camp male flight attendant asked politely, but failed to impress Nikki with his bright toothy smile and over-exaggerated hand gestures. In her mind she could picture herself hauling him over the desk by the lapels of his uniform, to punch his St. Tropez-tanned face; and she thought she might just live out the fantasy when he cheerily added, "Have a great day, and we hope you have an enjoyable flight with British Airways." Nikki scuttled off down the hangar before, "Bryan", as his name tagged implied, started to sing a rendition of Frank Sinatra's "Come fly with me". It was 6am. No one was meant to be as joyous as that when it was still practically the middle of the night.

Making her way onto the economy section of the plane, Nikki checked her seat number and threw her bags into the overhead compartment before getting herself comfortable in her allocated chair. She stretched her long legs under the seat in front, buckled up her seatbelt and crossed her arms over her chest as she stared out onto the tarmac runway to watch some Boeing 747's land, in her opinion, rather bumpily.

The weather seemed to be getting worse from what she could see in the early morning darkness. The thick snow that already lay on the ground was continually being added to by a heavy storm that showed no signs whatsoever of letting up any time soon. And she knew if it kept on the way it was then she, and 200 other passengers were going to be in for a very turbulent flight. Not that she minded. Not as long as she got to Scotland in one piece. Her sister, Jennifer had invited her to spend Christmas with herself, her husband, David, and their twin boys, Adam and Aidan - or the brats, as Nikki affectionately called them.

Nikki had reluctantly accepted the invitation, after a few weeks of unrelenting nagging from her sister. But really all she wanted to do was tuck herself away in her London flat, with a Marks and Spencer's ready meal for one, and watch the crappy 80's movies that were always repeated on the BBC. Scotland was cold and miserable, especially in December, and it would be made worse by having to watch her younger sibling play happy families ,when she was all alone, with not a partner or a child in sight.

"That weather is a nightmare; I hope we don't get delayed." Nikki turned her attentions to the petite blonde woman as she muttered quietly in what sounded like a Glaswegian accent, while settling herself in her seat in the middle of the row. "I hate it when you get stuck on the runway for hours." The woman flashed her best smile towards despite her anxieties, but Nikki ignored it and turned back to the window. "I hate flying at the best of times. It seems so unnatural. I always say, if God had wanted us to fly, he would have given us wings. But it is quite amazing, isn't it; how a structure this size, and weight manages to stay In the air."

"Oh God," Nikki thought to herself as she rolled her eyes, "The aerodynamic bullshit has begun already and we haven't even left the ground." All she needed now was the serial urinator and her trip was complete. Closing her eyes, Nikki hoped the woman would take the hint and be quiet; and it seemed to work. The plane taxied down the runway, took off and levelled; all without another word spoken. Even through some extreme turbulence the Scot with the alluring accent managed not to utter a single complaint. Twenty whole minutes of silence - heaven.

Taking the risk, Nikki reopened her eyes and took a sneaky sideward glance at the woman, who seemed to be engrossed in the book she was reading, and didn't look up. Her caramel-coloured hair, that was cut in a neat shoulder-grazing bob, hung around the contours of her face, which Nikki could tell was beautifully defined. The woman may have been a pain in the arse, but there was no denying that she was simply stunning, with the natural beauty of a 1920's film star.

Nikki turned away again as she felt a familiar rush of blood as it coursed through her veins, and prayed that no one would notice her sudden discomfort or the blush in her now rosy cheeks. She wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. Not since she had practically taken a vow of celibacy after her last girlfriend, of nine years, Trisha had cheated on her with her best friend. Women were no longer in the equation, and especially not sexy Scottish ones who would wine, dine and 69 you before putting your heart in a blender.

"This is your Captain speaking…" The announcement seemed to come from nowhere, but it grabbed the attention of each and every passenger, who listened with baited breath to the rest of the message. "I regret to have to inform you that we will now be coming in for landing. Due to extreme weather conditions in Scotland we have been forced to divert to an alternative airport. In approximately 10 minutes time we shall be descending into Dublin International Airport." The speaker systems shut off and in its place the fasten seatbelts light came on. Sigh's resounded around the aircraft and anxious chatter got louder thanks to the unwelcome announcement of a diversion. A diversion that would take them further from Scotland than when they had started.

Everyone's day was just about to get a million times worse, and Nikki Wade was no exception.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**7am - Christmas Eve**

The plane landed without complication at Dublin International Airport, and the 120 passengers made their way into the main terminal to collect their luggage. The hordes of people gathered around the conveyor belts, picking up their suitcases and alighting as quickly as they could to join the already growing queues at the various "Rent-a-car" stalls set up around the building. The whole scene was one of manic chaos and Nikki felt like she was right In the hub of it all, drowning in the hysteria.

She watched restlessly as the number of holidaymakers around her dwindled to a handful, and tapping her foot impatiently on the floor she stared at the plastic flaps, willing her case, full of all her clothes and presents, to appear…but 25 minutes passed and still nothing. The empty conveyor belt still slowly edged its way around, but it was quite clear by now that no more bags were going to be making an appearance.

Stomping moodily over to the baggage claim window she waited on assistance from the blonde behind the glass partition, who was more intent on filing her nails; and Nikki's temper threatened to bubble over and beyond boiling point.

"Excuse me, but would it be too much to ask to get a bit of help around here?" Nikki leaned against the window threateningly, but the receptionist didn't flinch one bit. She had seen many an irate customer and Nikki Wade was tame in comparison to some.

"How can I help you then?" The woman didn't bother to look up from her broken nail, which was obviously more important to her than some mislaid suitcases.

"My bags are missing, and I want them back….now!" The blasé attitude from the customer services representative was getting Nikki's back up, and added with her already growing impatience it was bound to lead to fireworks.

"Did you check the carousel?" The question was asked robotically with evident indifference. This woman had obviously been in the job for years and had her script perfected and committed to memory.

"of course I checked the fucking carousel! I stood staring at it for 40 minutes like an idiot!" Nikki felt her blood pressure escalate and a headache started to throb at her temple, which she unconsciously massaged.

"Did anyone else pick up your luggage?" The next stupid question flowed and Nikki threw her arms in the air with an over exaggerated gesture and a huff of disdain.

"How the hell should I know? Do I look like I'm bloody psychic?" Nikki wanted to punch something to make herself feel better and right now the woman from EasyJet was looking like an excellent target.

"You had better fill in these forms then." A thick bundle of paper, stapled at the corner, was pushed nonchalantly towards her and Nikki pushed it back in spite.

"I don't want to fill out a census form; I want my luggage! Do I need to spell it out to you?!"

"I'm sorry, Madam, but there is nothing I can do. The chances are your cases are on their way to another country. We will have to wait on lost luggage finding them. It could be weeks, if at all, before we retrieve them for you. Now, if you can leave me with a description of your bags and a forwarding address…"

"I don't bloody believe this. Not only am I stranded In Ireland at Christmas, but I have no clothes to change into, no toiletries…no nothing!" Nikki picked up the pen which was attached to a holder and super glued to the desk. "Not even a fucking toothbrush" She mumbled scornfully under her breath. "Here!" Nikki quickly and vigorously scribbled down the required details and practically shoved the piece of paper in the woman's face. "That's my sisters address in Scotland, in the highly unlikely event that my bags are ever returned." And with one last look of sheer hatred, Nikki stormed away. "Bastards," she proclaimed loud enough to be heard by anyone in her path as she tried to get through the swarm of bodies standing doing nothing.

"Can I have your attention please ladies and gents…" A small balding man in an official uniform stood on his chair so he could be seen by all and Nikki immediately took a dislike to him as she knew he was about to be the bearer of bad news. "It is my regret to inform you all, on the behalf of Avis, Hertz and Eurocar, that there are no more rental cars available I'm afraid. Can I suggest that you book into the airport hotel for the evening whilst the airline tries to sort out further means of transportation. Anyone wishing to travel straight away should contact the local bus and train companies for available seating. Thank You." Nikki's cynical pessimism had been spot on.

"Fuck!" This day was getting worse by the second and Nikki had finally reached the end of her rope. She was tired, miserable, wanted a fag, and she wanted to be back in London, away from all this pointless pandemonium. But without a car that was going to prove to be almost impossible to achieve.

"You should have gone to Avis before you went to baggage claim." A small voice filtered over Nikki's shoulder and made her turn In annoyance.

"What?" Nikki looked at the woman who had spoken and gave her a dirty look that was not only intimidating, but rather alarming. Whoever had spoken was about to be put in their place with a vitriolic rant that Nikki felt she could no longer contain. Well, that was until she realised it was the petite Scot who had been sitting next to her on the flight from Heathrow, and suddenly Nikki didn't feel like arguing anymore.

"I said…" The woman went to repeat herself but didn't get the chance as Nikki interjected.

"I heard what you said." She snapped petulantly. "And, yes, I would have gone to Avis first, if I had known my bloody bags were probably half way to Timbuk-bloody-tu."

"oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You haven't had a very good start to the holiday's either then?" Nikki shook her head and started to feel extremely sorry for herself. This was her first year alone at Christmas and she didn't like it one bit. A huge hollow gap seemed to expand in her remnants of her broken heart. Something in her life was missing, but what that something was she didn't know, and at the moment didn't have the energy or inclination to find out. She was tired. Tired of being shit on from a great height, tired of putting on a brave face, tired of life, and most certainly tired of looking for something that just wasn't there anymore. "Same here." The woman broke into Nikki's thoughts. "I slept in this morning, had an argument with my boyfriend and spilled coffee down me…" She nodded down to the distinct brown stain that was spread over the right breast pocket of the white shirt. "And that was all before 3am." She rolled her eyes and laughed but Nikki didn't as much as offer a grin in return.

"Do you always talk about yourself this much to complete strangers?" Nikki snipped with scorn evident In her voice, much to the woman's bewilderment. "I mean, for all you know I could be the British Aileen Wuornos, waiting to pounce on an unsuspecting victim; someone stupid - like you. Just a small tip for you, darlin', in future, be careful who you speak to…you might get a shock." By now the small woman's eyes were like saucers and her mouth was hanging agape in astonishment. She was so completely dumbfounded by this blatant attempt at bitchiness, that she didn't know were to start with a response. The tall, dark haired woman had just stood there, and in a round about way, told her she was a jabbering idiot with shit for brains - with not even a single sign of remorse or thought to her feelings. The Scot had just been trying to strike up a conversation. She hadn't failed to notice the sadness in those perfectly shaped brown eye when the mysterious stranger had turned to look at her on the plane and from that moment on she had felt the need to try and cheer her up. But that plan had backfired spectacularly, and from what she could now see, she had managed to upset this woman even more. "Nice one," She thought to herself as she watched the back of woman as she strode away with a bee in her bonnet. "What a moody cow," She shook her head and smiled. "You want a fight, lady, then you're going to get one," She muttered quietly to herself with a grin on her face like the Cheshire Cat. "Let round two commence,"

It was payback time.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

**7:30am - Christmas Eve**

Nikki violently thrust her coins into the internet telephone with a hint of impatience. Not only was she immensely pissed off with the newfangled technology that she had never used before and didn't understand, but she was angry at herself for acting the way she had back there with the woman who was doing no more than trying to engage her in conversation. But again the infamous Wade temper had got the better of her. One of these days she would have to learn to bite that forked tongue of hers, for it was going to get her into a hell of a lot of trouble if she didn't. She knew it was a huge character flaw, but the bottom line was, she just couldn't help it. The slightest thing could be like a red rag to a bull and before she knew it she was off on one of her rants, acting like a hurricane that would take out whatever was in it's path. There was no doubt about it, when Nikki Wade was good, she was great, but when she was bad; boy did you want to stay as far away from her as possible.

"What the fuck is wrong with this piece of shit!" Nikki slammed her fist into the steel contraption with all her might as if it would suddenly make it spring to life; which of course It didn't. In Nikki's tired, sleep deprived mind, the inanimate object was mocking her, and she wanted to rip it right out of the wall and smash it to pieces.

"Hitting it won't help. You need to click the icon that looks like a globe with the little thing that looks like an arrow," The facetious tones of a Scottish voice behind her Nikki instantly recognised and she rolled her eyes. Right now the last thing she needed was a Sexy Scot winding her up.

"Is there a reason why you are following me around the airport?" Nikki didn't bother to turn around. She was too busy looking for the arrow she had been told to point at a globe that she also couldn't see. "There are laws against stalking you know."

"You just look like you need a lot of help," The woman drawled with sarcastic undertones to her statement that didn't go amiss with Nikki. "And I wanted to know, are you…?"

"Am I what?" Nikki turned and scrunched her eyebrows together, completely lost in the conversations turn, but it certainly got her attention.

"The British Aileen Wuornos…It's just, I'm the Governor of a woman's prison and I wondered if I'd be seeing you around my wing sometime soon?" She smiled gleefully and without awaiting a response she took over Nikki's position at the computer. "Ah, looking for a hotel for the night eh? Good luck with that." She yanked up the handle to her suitcase and made a move to walk away feeling extremely pleased with herself.

"What do you mean, "Good luck with that?"" Nikki mimicked the woman's accent badly, resembling what sounded more like German than Scottish.

"You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting a room tonight." The woman stated matter-of-factly as she looked back over her shoulder.

"What are you, heir to the Hilton empire?"

"No, I'm just stating a fact. You can try…but it would be a waste of time. All of the hotels appear to be fully booked, as do the B&B's, if they aren't closed for the holidays. "

"And you would know this how?" Nikki snapped, now thoroughly sick of the sight of little miss know-it-all.

"Because I was forward-thinking enough to checked it out; about 10 minutes before you called me a pain in the arse." The blonde snapped back. She had walked a few paces back towards Nikki, emphasising every word she said with each step she took. "And about that - you don't even know me. So to call me stupid was completely uncalled for. I'll have you know I have a degree from oxford University."

"oh, well bully for you! That _is_ an achievement. And I suppose that degree makes you the authority on lodgings in Ireland?" Nikki arched her eyebrow with a smirk on her face.

"Sod you! I was just trying to be nice, but I don't think you understand the meaning of the word. I'll think twice the next time I offer my help."

"Yeah, you do that, darlin'. Stick your help where you talk out of." Nikki didn't bother to look up from the keyboard as she typed away furiously in search of proof that this woman was wrong. There had to be one room left in Dublin, even if it meant spending the night in a grubby hovel.

"You are the most frustrating, arrogant bitch I have ever had the displeasure to meet. I " The Scot growled in irritation. "Where do you get off talking to people like that?" Helen got right up under her nose in an intimidating stance, despite her small stature, but Nikki didn't flinch. "You don't even have the decency to look me in the eye when you insult me!" Nikki slowly and somewhat seductively drew her eyes away from the website that was flashing "No Vacancies available." and looked the women directly in her angry green eyes.

"Happy now?" Nikki smirked as the woman stared at her with a hypnotised look and shook her head, while she quickly slipped away from the close proximity of the near-touching bodies and the deep brown eyes that for one second had seemingly penetrated her soul. She regained her composure and starred with anger back at Nikki as she yelled:

"I can't believe I was going to offer to drive you somewhere. I'm a bloody fool."

"Do you want me to comment on that?" Nikki said with the sarcasm dripping from her voice with every word.

"No, I don't…." Helen snapped back. "I don't even know why I bother talking to you? It's just one sarcastic comment after the next. It's the lowest form of wit you know!"

"Maybe because you like offering lifts to strange women you meet in airports?" Nikki loved that she had found a way to wind up the petit Scot and not only was it highly amusing, but she found it helped to satisfy her own needs for letting out some steam. Helen just gave her an evil glare with those grey green eyes of hers and kept her perfectly shaped lips clamped shut.

Nikki was about to say something else when she suddenly stopped herself and frowned. She tilted her head and looked intensely at Helen.

"How did you get hold of a car anyway?" Nikki wasn't trying to be sarcastic, but the woman didn't see it that way.

"Unlike some I have a brain and called Avis when we landed…" She answered with a raised eyebrow that only managed to send Nikki back into her mood.

"Well, aren't you just clever…" Nikki retorted mockingly and picked up her handbag in order to leave this Godforsaken place called an airport. She wanted some fresh air and as many cigarettes as she could chain smoke in 5 minutes.

"God, you have to get the last word on everything, don't you?!" Helen said more venomously than she really wanted to, but something about this tall dark woman unnerved her and made her react stronger than normally. "You can't just let something's slide?"

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, clearly showing total indifference in what the petit Scot was saying. She had turned to leave when the sexy Scottish voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Now do you want that lift or not? I'm definitely leaving, with or without you …. I don't have time arguing anymore so you had better make your mind up, and quickly."

The question was said in an intense, snappy, but tired voice. Something in it made Nikki stop, calm down and slowly turn around.

"I don't even know where to go, so you driving me somewhere would be pointless. I'd be as well staying here and sleeping on the floor until Easy Jet can get me a flight." Nikki said civilly and hung her head. She was too tired to argue anymore. All her fighting spirit has suddenly left her as she thought forward to how depressing the next 24 hours were going to be, stranded alone in a city that was foreign to her.

"Listen," The woman sighed, almost feeling sorry for Nikki, despite the fact only moments before she had been ready to slap her. "I can get you back to Scotland…that is, if you think you can handle being in my company. I am after all just a stupid stalker with shit for brains, according to you."

"And you say I'm the one who won't let things slide?! Why don't you just piss off!" Nikki screwed up her face and hissed her words.

"Fine!" Helen retorted.

"Fine!" Nikki repeated, but neither woman moved. Instead both stood staring at each other with their arms crossed and lips pursed.

"I'm leaving now," Helen remained still despite her statement.

"Good for you." Nikki nodded. "Have a good trip. And remember, don't talk to strangers." Nikki tried not to laugh as she watched the proverbial steam come out of the womans ears, but found it hard.

"Ok… I suppose it's better than staying here…." Nikki tried to act nonchalantly, but inside she was screaming for joy. "Well, come on then Mother Teresa…lead the way to whatever old jalopy you've managed to rent." Nikki lifted the one bag she had and walked away with Helen struggling behind her with all her luggage.

"It's not an old jalopy!" Helen wheezed, "It's a Peugeot 306."

"Wow, Snazzy. Sounds like a real passion wagon." Nikki laughed, but Helen didn't find the humour.

"What did you expect; a chauffeur driven Bentley?" Helen snapped and Nikki, as usual, had a facetious answer for her.

The verbal sparring continued all the way into the car park as an argument broke out over which was better, a practical every day car, compared to a gorgeous little sporty number and neither could agree to disagree. Now both were stonily silent and preparing to embark on a journey, which, with the way things were, was going to last what seemed like an eternity.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**8am - Christmas Eve **

The snow was coming down thick and fast as Helen and Nikki made their way towards the rental car that was parked and waiting for them in block C of the Airport car park. After their long-winded and somewhat heated argument regarding the stature of certain cars, Helen was no longer in the mischievous, playful mood that had brought her into the company of this woman in the first place. There was just no two ways about it. The statuesque brunette may have had a certain je nais par pour quoi about her, but still she was a royal pain in the arse, who seemed to be a hamburger short of a Happy Meal. And Helen was beginning to question her own sanity at inviting this woman to accompany her all the way back to Scotland. It was completely out of character for her to do such a thing, for working in a woman's prison had proved to her that behind even the most angelic face could lie a corrupt nature and that really no one could be trusted. So then why had she felt the need to play the good Samaritan when it could easily have landed her in the shit? If it hadn't already. She didn't have an answer to that, and she wasn't in the mood to start analysing it either. She was wound up like a coiled spring and in desperate need to get to her final destination with no more delays or catastrophes.

Tensely she slammed over the drivers door, slung her handbag onto the back seat of the car and thrust the car key into the ignition to rev up the engine, which, thanks to the freezing weather, didn't want to start. Only a pathetic chugging grumble came from the motor.

"It'll heat up in a second." Helen offered as she quietly willed the car to jump into life with each turn of the key - which it didn't. It stayed frozen and completely unresponsive, and it seemed like the only thing that was heating up In this car was Helen's bad temper.

"If you had gotten something nifty, like a Porsche, then you wouldn't have this problem." Nikki goaded, unwilling to let the matter of their earlier "discussion" drop, even although it had now been almost 15 minutes since it was last mentioned.

"For the last time," Helen snapped back. "It was my money, and my choice, and now this is my Peugeot. So if you want a Porsche, then I suggest you go and bloody buy one!" Helen twisted the key so hard it was a wonder it didn't snap in the lock, but the forcefulness seemed to have the desired effect as the cars engine roared in response. The windscreen wipers immediately began to dance rhythmically back and forth across the glass, scraping the excess icy snow off of the window; discarding it back onto the pavement where it belonged, and a sudden blast of cold air shot out from the air-conditioning vents.

"I take it that will heat up soon as well?" Nikki pointed to the vent, tightly pulled her jacket around her and without asking if it was okay, turned the heating gauge up to full, which earned her a dirty look from Helen.

"Probably not as quickly as it would in a Porsche!" Helen snorted sarcastically as she eased off the accelerator and set the vehicle in motion.

"Touché!" Nikki said and smiled inwardly. She liked this woman's feistiness. Something about it reminded her of herself, and deep down, despite the bitchiness and constant sniping, she knew they were probably going to get on just fine - That is if they could manage to engage in a civil conversation for long enough, without biting each others heads off. "So, where are we heading then?" Nikki enquired as she made herself comfortable in the chair, expecting a long journey.

"Liverpool." Helen answered as she concentrated on the road. The blizzard was making it hard to see, and with only an hour to get to her destination she would have to put her foot down.

"What?" Nikki turned her head and scrunched her eyebrows together. "Liverpool?" She questioned, somewhat confused.

"Yes. Can you go into the glove compartment and pass me the A-Z?" Helen stretched her hand over and opened the little hatch, that now touched Nikki's knees, whilst keeping her eyes peeled in front of her. She knew all it would take was one false move and the result could be hazardous. Driving in such stormy weather put her on edge, and it didn't help matters that she had to drive on the "wrong" side of the road.

"And how do you plan on getting there?" Nikki smirked with a raised eyebrow. "Unless there is a Liverpool in Ireland that I don't know about?" She reached for the map and handed it to Helen who didn't take it.

"I'm trying to drive here." She nodded to her two hands which were firmly placed on the steering wheel. "Look up Dublin Port for me…"

"A "Please" wouldn't go amiss,"

"Please," Helen added a little reluctantly through gritted teeth - a gesture that rather pleased Nikki. Something about seeing this woman in a temper excited her. It felt like a fun game, and as long as she was winning, then she was loving every minute of it.

"Here…" Nikki found the page and went to hand it back to Helen who quickly gave her a look that said "What did I just tell you?" So avoiding another war of words she let out a resigned sigh and sat the map back on her knee and reluctantly began to try and make head or tail of the page, which to her, was covered in nothing more than a few squiggly lines. No, geography had definitely never been her favourite subject, and reading a map was about as impossible for her as it would have be to let a fish ride a bicycle. It just didn't work. However, she was not going to let the Scot have the pleasure of seeing her at a loss, so she pretended to know what she was doing by staring intently at the map.

"According to the guy at Avis it is only 30 minutes drive from the city centre and is pretty well signposted…so we shouldn't have any problems finding it."

"Why do we need the A-Z then?" Nikki, being her usual nonplussed self, couldn't see the reason behind needing a map. Not if this place was so damn easy to find.

"Because I don't want to get lost, that's why. We have now less than 1 hour to catch the ferry and I refuse to take the chance of missing it. I have family to get home to; so it's better to be safe than sorry."

"God, you really are pedantic." Nikki rolled her eyes in agitation.

"Maybe I am, but at least my life runs smoothly. I like to know where I am going, in life and in general; I don't like surprises."

"Sounds boring if you ask me."

"Well, no one did ask you."

"Have you always been that way, or was it the result of some kind of mind life crisis?" Nikki smirked. It was clear this woman was hardly a day over 30, but it was the kind of comment that would illicit a reaction.

"I'm only 32, and yes, I have always been this way. I had a strict upbringing." Helen snapped, and took a quick, self-conscious look in the rear-view mirror to check for any new wrinkles that had suddenly appeared.

"Ah, let me guess, father was an army sergeant?"

"No, a Church of Scotland Minister actually." Helen hastily took her eyes off the road long enough to throw a look of contempt Nikki's way.

"Jeez, that's worse! Please don't say you're going to quote the bible to me?"

"I may have taken on board my Dad's attributes for creating an easy life, but that's where the story ends. Religion and I don't mix, which means neither do me and my Father."

"Do I detect a hint of bitterness?" Nikki knew she was pushing her luck, but she couldn't help herself. Outwardly she may have been acting like a sarcastic brat, but deep down she the need to find out everything she could about this kind stranger.

"Listen, can we stop talking about me and get back to the matter at hand?" Helen was starting to feel flustered under this interrogation, which made the Spanish Inquisition look tame in comparison.

"Fine by me, darlin'" Nikki shrugged like she didn't care, so why then did she feel hurt?

"And can you stop calling that, I hate it!" The truth was Helen didn't mind it at all. But each time she heard the term of endearment drawled sexily in that deep, southern English accent her heart seemed to skip a beat, and it was beginning to unnerve her. She was straight. Always had been, and always would be, and no woman should be making her feel the way she felt.

"What, darlin'?" Nikki drew the last word out, accentuating each syllable.

"Yes! It's irritating and rather patronizing." Helen's cheeks flushed and she had to mentally shake herself to concentrate

"Well, I wouldn't call you it, if I knew your first name."

"It's Helen. Helen Stewart."

"Very Scottish; and very pretty." Nikki nodded in appreciation.

"Aye, right." Helen rolled her eyes at Nikki's blatant, and pathetic attempt at charm, whilst inwardly she began to melt. "It was my Mothers name." She smiled nostalgically with pride written all over her face - a gesture which Nikki couldn't fail to notice. That perfectly defined face, which she couldn't draw her eyes away from, radiated love and a sense of contentment; emotions that Nikki herself hadn't felt in a very long time.

"Is that who you're going to spend Christmas with?" Nikki quizzed.

"I thought we weren't talking about me anymore." Like a sudden rain cloud had filled the space between them, Nikki felt the tension radiate from Helen, as her pretty face fell back into a tight-lipped pout. "Which way should we be going? We've just passed the city centre, so should I take the N27?"

"Erm, wait a minute," '_Where is that bloody port?'_ Nikki thought as she desperately flipped through the pages of the map, while trying not to be too obvious about the fact that she hadn't the faintest idea how to read or even look at the map.

"You found it yet?" Helen asked, trying to sound patient, and completely unaware that Nikki was starting to sweat profusely.

"Almost…" She mumbled back, while still flipping the map back and forth.

"Come on, we don't have all day…" Helen was now sounding very impatient and it began to grate on Nikki's already frail nerves.

"Well…. Just follow the signs then…" she snapped back and pointed aimlessly out of the windscreen to some signs that didn't exist.

"There are no signs!" Helen was getting closer and closer to having a hysterical fit. The clock was ticking away, closer and closer to the departure of the ferry and her ticket home to Scotland. They had been driving around and around for almost 20 minutes without getting anywhere nearer the port.

"Didn't the man at the rental stall say just follow the signs?" Nikki asked with a clear hint of sarcasm.

"I don't care what that idiot said…" Helen finally exploded. "Just find the damned port and tell me the road to it!" She had had enough of this obnoxious woman and her bloody sarcasm. It was not the day for scornful reproach and witty comments.

There was not much traffic on the roads, but the fact that the weather was so bad forced her to drive much more careful. It had started to snow even heavier and the sight was poor. Helen had to use her full concentration just to keep the car straight on the road. In fact she was concentrating so much that only a part of Nikki's next words filtered through to her.

"Right…. Turn left next time…" Nikki said with determination. To her utter amazement the car turned right. "I said turn left!" she said with annoyance.

"You said "Right,"!" Helen retorted still with her eyes firmly fixed on the snowy and slippery road ahead of them.

"I said "Right" as in ok…shit!" Nikki said with a little more agitation than necessary. She was starting to get pissed off by the obstinate Scot. With an effort she quelled the most apparent response she was about to give the woman, before continuing. "We'll have to go back then…."

"I can't… it's a one way street…." Came the curt and huffy reply . It was evident that the Scot was angry, her accent strong and her voice a little more high pitched than normal.

"Well then, just turn right at the next corner…" Nikki said. "That will probably lead us back to where we came from…"

"We don't need to get back to where we came from," Helen hissed as she grabbed the steering wheel more firmly. If she didn't she as convinced that she would have hit a certain tall dark woman over the head, just so she could put some sense into that thick skull of hers.

Nikki shook the map and turned it upside down as she said: "Just turn at the next corner, and we'll…."

"For fucks sake!" Helen yelled not giving Nikki the chance to finish her sentence. "Give me that bloody map…." She looked away from the road as she reached over to grab the map from Nikki.

The car slipped on the icy road and a truck came towards them.

"Shit, Helen, look out!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**9am - Christmas Eve**

"Shit, Helen, look out!" The fog lights shone brightly In Helens eyes as she stared, transfixed at the articulated lorry coming towards her at great speed through the mist. Her mind spun out of control, her entire life flashing before her eyes. She had mere seconds to save herself and her companion, but she was frozen to the spot and completely incapable of lifting her foot from the accelerator to place it on the break.

"Helen!" Nikki, still in complete control of her faculties, screamed and grabbed the steering wheel, turning it sharply towards her so that the car veered bumpily into the side of the road, where it came to a complete standstill on the grassy embankment. "What the hell are you playing at! Trying to get us killed?" It took Helen a few moments to snap out of her daze and register the enormity of what had just happened, and the shouts of anger that Nikki was throwing her way, which she ignored as she got out of the car to get fresh air and inspect the damaged to the front of the vehicle.

She gingerly walked around the open car door and bent over the bonnet. The right side was crumpled and the front head light were smashed to smithereens.

'_Fucking Hell!'_ she thought angrily. '_Just what I needed… This is gonna cost me a small fortune…'_

Nikki watched her intently and decided to get out of the car too. But for a short moment she felt the physical affects of the accident overcome her as a sudden dizzy spell made her lean against the car for support. Then the reality hit her, and she was suddenly concerned for Helen and her wellbeing. She walked up to where Helen stood inspecting the damaged to the car, in order to show her concern, but before she could say anything she was met by an angry outburst, that was only the start of a full blown Stewart rage, that emerged like the lava from a volcano; unexpected and lethal.

"What the fucking Hell where you doing?" Helen exclaimed, staring angrily at Nikki, who looked back at her in bewilderment. But it only took her a second to gather her composure to shout back.

"What I am doing? What the bloody Hell were you doing, grabbing the map like that?"

Helen put her hands on her sides and the blazing fire in her green eyes would have sent anyone else other than Nikki running scared. She stepped up to Nikki and stood right under her nose.

"What the Hell do you think I was doing?" she shot out with increasing temper. "I was bloody driving, when you grabbed the wheel!"

"Yes, and if I hadn't we would probably be all over the pavement by now, like road kill!" Nikki retorted with vehemence and stared right back at the fiery Scot, her own eyes showing nothing but retained fury.

"Just look at the car!" Helen said and pointed at the battered red Peugeot. "Who the hell is going to pay for that?"

"Is that all you care about? Fucking money?" Nikki rolled her eyes in exasperation. Here they were, barely having escaped death by an inch, and the bloody woman was thinking about was who was going to pay for some minor damage to a rented car.

"No, I'm concerned about getting home to my family and now I'm most likely to miss the ferry thanks to your inability to read a simple map, which even a five year old kid could accomplish." Helen was still blazing with rage, but the prospect of not making it home for Christmas made things seem a million times worse.

"Don't blame me… you could have followed the signs…" Nikki said trying to hold her temper, as she was still shaken by the recent events.

Helen was about to say something but was cut short by Nikki, who pointed at a large white sign with a black ferry and underneath the words "Dublin port".

"Like that one over there…"

Helen turned abruptly and to her surprise there was actually a sign showing the road to the port.

"Get in the car!" she commanded, while quickly stealing a glance at her watch.

"What?!" Nikki scrunched her eyebrows.

"Don't argue… just get into the car…" Helen ran to the driver's seat and threw herself into the car.

Nikki shook her head, but complying to Helen's demand she got into the car as well. She had hardly slammed the door shut after her before Helen had started the car and it drove off at a hazardous speed towards the port.

Nikki could smell the fresh, salty sea air hit her nostrils and the relentless squawking of the seagulls overhead told her their tempestuous adventure in Ireland was almost over.

They reached the port in record time. Helen threw the car around the last corner and right up to the ticket booth, rolling down her window in one swift, energetic movement. For a brief moment she rummaged in her handbag and pulled out a piece of white crumpled paper, which she handed to the woman in the small, makeshift office.

The woman looked at the piece of paper with indifference, tapped something into the computer and turned her gaze back to Helen, who sat expectantly waiting for the woman to finish her registration.

"You are too late for the boarding I'm afraid," the woman drawled in a deep Irish accent.

"WHAT!" Helen exclaimed. "I'm not late… I still have two minutes left…." She looked down at her watch to make sure she wasn't the one in the wrong, which she already knew she wasn't. "At least I did have, but you have unnecessarily delayed me!" she added tersely.

"Well, I'll let you pass this time…" the woman said with a tight expression. "But you need to pay for your companion."

"What!" Helen rolled her eyes and was about to tell the woman at the booth exactly what she thought about her, when Nikki intervened.

"I'll pay… just give me the ticket options." Nikki got out wallet and leaned over Helen's lap to see out of the window, which did nothing to put a smile on Helen's face. She unconsciously sucked in her breath and with it came the unique aroma that was a mixture of Nikki's perfume, mingled with a faint smell of nicotine.

"You can have the same kind of ticket as your friend, with a shared cabin, that'll be £180 …"

"No way I'm paying that amount of money for a cabin." Nikki protested and squirmed totry and get comfortable as she leaned painfully on the window's sharp edge, desperately attempting not to make body contact with the woman under her.

"Then you can have the standard fare return £120 or single £90" the woman said looking even more sour than before.

"Standard single, it is, there is no bloody way I'm returning here."

After paying the requested amount of money Helen swiftly drove into the assigned lane, from which cars were already slowly rolling onto the ferry. A couple of men in fluorescent yellow and orange jackets waved them into the line, and Helen carefully drove the car up the narrow ramp to the small opening in the side of the ferry.

When finally having placed the car in the allotted parking spot as ordered by the port officials, they stepped out of the car and walked along the lines of cars towards the exit on the deck. Helen walked in front of Nikki and as they ascended the steep stairs to the upper decks, Nikki had a perfect view to a pair of well shaped legs as well as a very inviting swaying bottom, that was encased in tight-fitting jeans.

'_If she wasn't such a pain in the arse, I think I might find her attractive,_' Nikki mused. '_There is no questioning that she is gorgeous. But her manners do lack a bit. However, I could definitely fall for her, if she wasn't so temperamental.'_ she smiled and tried to suppress the temptation to pinch the flesh that her eyes were rooted to.

Nikki had been so deeply engrossed in her thoughts that she had not noticed that they had emerged at the second top deck with Helen suddenly stopping in front of her, resulting in Nikki walking straight into Helen's back and sending her almost flying through the doorway. Perplexed she walked over to help Helen on her feet.

"Sorry about that. I didn't see that you'd stopped…" Nikki said apologetically whilst holding a hand out, but before she could utter another word Helen exploded.

"What's the matter with you?" she yelled, making a few of the other passengers turn their heads to see what the commotion was about. Helen didn't even notice as, undaunted she continued with her tirade while pulling herself to an upright position by holding onto Nikki's hand. "You've done nothing more than get on my nerves all day?"

"I've done no such thing." Nikki interrupted feeling her own temper staring to emerge rapidly, letting go of Helen's hand as if it burned. "If I remember correctly, and I do, you started annoying me at the airport."

"I was trying to be nice, and you acted like a bitch." Helen retorted her eyes gleaming with anger. She wiped her hand on her Jeans in order to rid herself of the feeling of Nikki Wade.

"I did not…. I was just trying to get some peace and quiet. But you just couldn't stop letting me know all that I was doing wrong…." Nikki was past caring about the odd glances they received as they stood nose to nose arguing like an old married couple.

"I should never have offered you that lift. It has given me nothing but trouble." Helen shook her head and raised her hands in a resigned gesture.

"Given you nothing but trouble?" Nikki shouted. "Listen, Ms. Stewart, you almost got us both killed out there. And you have the nerve to call me trouble?"

"Well, if you haven't been such a bloody idiot, then we wouldn't have been driving around in circles, being late for the ferry…." Helen ranted on, but was cut short by another angry outburst from Nikki.

"We made it to the ferry, didn't we?"

"No thanks to you!" came the quick retort from Helen.

"You just can't handle being in the wrong, can you?" Nikki sighed in exasperation . It was simply impossible to reason with this stubborn woman.

"You think what you like… I'm off to my cabin…."

"Well… I'm starving, so I'm going for food."

They stood staring angrily at each other, but none of the actually making a move as to carry out their respective threats.

"What cabin are you in?" Nikki finally said, with a calmness about her.

"359" Helen said before thinking, totally taken aback at the sudden nature of the question.

"Fine, I'll see you in a bit then." Without another word Nikki stomped off leaving Helen in utter bewilderment.

Helen was flustered and highly agitated by the time she made it through the long narrow corridors of the ship, to the cabin that she had paid a small fortune for. £180 for a pokey little room that she would spend less than 8 hours in, but she had thought it would be worth every penny, to get a little peace, and perhaps some much anticipated sleep. Well, that was until a certain English brunette had put paid to that plan with the unwarranted assumption that she would be welcome to share the lodgings. And how wrong she had been.

The room wasn't as bad as Helen had first imagined it to be, but still, it was no palace. With a double bed, a small pine table with two chairs an inset wardrobe and a tiny ensuite bathroom, it would do for the short trip. The only problem was the size and the fact she would pretty soon be sharing the cramped space with a certain woman who got on her nerves.

Fireworks were bound to ensue.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**10am - Christmas Eve**

Helen was sitting on the edge of the double bed in silence, deep in thought, with her unopened case by her side, when the door to her cabin was chapped hurriedly and in walked the bane of her life; her arms laden with a large, blue plastic tray, filled with food and accompanying beverages. There was enough there to feed a small family, not just one person.

"Ah, cosy." Nikki commented as she took a quick non-committed gaze around the room and sat her lunch down on the table, without as much as an acknowledgement to Helen, who gawped in silence. "Is there a bathroom?" She asked as she rummaged through her black holdall and pulled out, what to Helen looked like shower gel and shampoo.

"Yes," Helen pointed to a small, under-sized door. "There's a shower room and toilet in there, but…"

"Great!" Nikki ignored the "but" and made her way towards the door, the required toiletries and spare underwear In hand. "I'll get a quick wash before lunch."

"I was going to shower myself, actually." Helen interjected, feeling quite put out that in 30-seconds flat her cabin had been taken over by someone who wasn't paying a penny towards it. She knew she was being selfish, a trait that she never normally felt or expressed, but then again, there was a lot of emotions this gorgeous woman was introducing her too - emotions which were normally alien, and each and every one disturbed her greatly. Why did the sight of those soulful brown eyes hypnotize her with each look? Why did her stomach flip involuntarily, her heart skip a beep and her breath catch in the back of her throat whenever this woman as much as spoke? And since when did she start finding other women attractive? She shook her, but no matter how much she tried desperately to ignore the mounting inner turmoil, she couldn't.

"Ah, right. Well, you don't mind if I go first, do you?" Nikki didn't wait for an answer. The bathroom door was closed over and the sounds of the shower running could be heard before Helen got the chance to say that she did mind; immensely.

"I guess I don't have a bloody choice." She groaned angrily, with no one but herself to take pity. "That bloody woman." Her body hit the mattress with force, bouncing momentarily as she flung her back onto the bed like a petulant child. She was angry…furious in fact, but as hard as she attempted to hate this stranger she couldn't. Instead the mental image of herself grabbing the tall enigma and throwing her against the cabin wall in a moment of steamy, unbridled passion coursed through her head. Tongues clashing wildly, animalistic groans, bodies writhing together….

"I'm finally losing it." Helen shook her head in a futile attempt to shake away the erotic scene in her mind and she pulled herself into a sitting position. "I am straight, for Christ sake." The words were said with such conviction, and anyone having heard them would have believed the vehement statement…so why didn't Helen? What was that nagging doubt that circled in the back of her brain?

She resolutely stood from the bed and opened her suitcase in order to rid herself of all the confusing thoughts. As she bent over the suitcase to pick up her shower gel and some fresh clothes her eyes fell to something on the bed. It was the woman's holdall, which had been casually discarded on the bed as Nikki had entered with her arms full of food. In annoyance, Helen reached out to throw the bag onto the small table, but as she stretched across to pick it up she noticed that a passport was sticking out. She grabbed it to put it back, but just before doing so, her curiosity got the better of her and she carefully opened it in the hope that she would get a better impression of who her companion was.

The first thing that met her eyes was a picture of a woman in her early 20's with jet-black hair. It was a lot longer than it was now, and to Helen's surprise; curly. Big brown eyes stared intensely back at her and not a hint of a smile was found. "At least that hasn't changed." Helen thought to herself, bitterly. The woman looked serious, but was undoubtedly a younger version of the woman in the shower room.

Instinctively Helen let her thumb slowly move across the picture as a gentle caress, unconsciously wishing it was the real face she was stroking. She could almost feel how smooth the skin was under her fingers. She felt drawn into the picture and almost forgot what she was doing when she noticed that the water had stopped running. She quickly flipped through the pages of information, making a note of the name and day of birth before hastily putting the passport back into the handbag and leaving it on the table. Helen returned to her previous task of finding the necessary things for her to get cleaned up, just in time as Nikki came out of the shower room, her hair tussled and in total disarray.

She was covered only by a large, crisp white towel, but her own semi-nakedness didn't seem to bother her in the slightest. She just sat down at the table and started to eat the food she had bought without batting an eyelid.

As she stuffed herself, Helen looked on in amazement. In a flash, food began disappearing from the plate, like someone was sucking it up with a vacuum.

"If you carry on like that you will end up sick." Helen watched Nikki stuff the steak pie-filled fork into her mouth every few seconds and felt her own stomach cramp at the very thought of guzzling food that hurriedly. "That can't be good for your digestive system."

"I thought you were a prison officer, not a Doctor. And anyway, I never get sick. I've got the stomach of an ox" Nikki prodded her belly proudly between mouthfuls; even managing a smile of satisfaction as she quickly chewed.

"I'm a wing governor, and don't get too cocky, Nicola. Even the strongest of stomachs can empty on ships like this, especially when it's as choppy as it is now." Nikki rapidly pulled her gaze away from the inviting mashed potatoes that she had been about to devour.

"Hey, how do you know my name? I never told you…and it's Nikki, not Nicola."

"A bit of detective work… Nikki" Helen tapped the side of her nose with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Wow, doctor, wing governor and a spy! Impressive, I must say. So, come on then, Christine Cagney, how did you find out?"

"I took a look at your passport while you were in the shower. Nice perm, by the way." Helen chuckled to herself as Nikki blushed bright pink.

"For your information it's not a perm, my hair is naturally curly, and the picture was taken in 1993, we all made fashion faux pas' back then." Helen shook her head.

"I never. I looked quite good in the 90's, actually." Helen sounded so self-assured, but she wasn't fooling anyone but herself. She knew fine well how she had looked. It wasn't a pretty sight and she sure as hell wasn't letting Nikki Wade know it too.

"Bollocks!" Nikki snorted. "No one looked good in the 90's. Not even you." Nikki pointed at Helen rather animatedly as her determination to be proved right grew.

"Fine," Helen said calmly with a quick shrug of the shoulders. "Believe what you want, but I know the truth."

"of course…but there is one way to prove it." Nikki dropped the cutlery back onto her plate, sat back I the chair and crossed her arms with a huge smirk on her face.

"And what's that? Build a time machine and go back to 1995?" Helen rolled her eyes, praying that Nikki would give up and let her off the hook.

"No, you can show me your passport picture. It would only be fair, after all, you did look at mine without permission." Nikki raised her eyebrows with an accompanying grin.

"oh, no" Helen shook her head forcefully and stood up from the table to go and hide the offending photographic evidence. "No chance, Nikki."

"Ah, so you do have something to hide then?" Nikki probed, mischief bubbling in her veins.

"No, I just don't want you looking at my passport, that's all." The blatant lie wasn't enough to appease Nikki, who carried on in her quest.

"Why? It hardly contains classified information!" Nikki watched Helen lift her travel documentation from the bed as she eyed the room for some secure place to put it, away from Nikki's prying eyes. But with nowhere suitable, she decided it best to keep the documents as close to herself as possible. So she turned her back so Nikki was unable to see what she was doing and stealthily began to slip everything down the front of her jeans.

"Come on, don't be a spoilsport." Nikki stood up, and with her long legs in the tiny room it only took a few strides for her to be within touching distance of Helen's back. "Give us a look." Nikki stretched her arms around Helen's waist and grabbed her wrists gently but with a strength that Helen could not remove herself from. "It's only a picture, what's the big deal." Nikki lent over Helen's shoulder and whispered in her ear. "Just one quick look and I promise not to laugh." Helen felt the breath graze the side of her face and her heart rate began to accelerate. It was like an erotic game, but she didn't want to play for she didn't fully understand the rules.

"You're not seeing it Nikki, and that's final." Helen snapped and bent her torso over in a spontaneous act of protection as she tried to shield her hands from Nikki's grasp. But the movement only added to her already building anguish. The tips of her breasts brushed almost imperceptibly over Nikki's knuckles and like a gust of thrill had washed over her, she shivered and felt her nipples stiffen under her tight, white shirt. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment whilst her groin burned with something quite different; red hot desire. And as instinct kicked in she knew she had to get away from Nikki is fast as she could, but how could she when the woman had an iron like grip on her; in more ways than the literal sense.

She carefully looked behind her while trying discretely to hide the obvious sound of excitement without Nikki noticing it. But looking back was almost Helen's undoing. The sight she saw made her blood run faster and towards places it shouldn't.

During the struggle for Helen's papers, Nikki's white towel had come slightly apart revealing a well toned body, flat stomach and something that made Helen quickly avert her eyes as her pulse raced out of control. The warmth in her already heated body flooded like a torrent inside her. Helen's mind stood still as all rational thinking had escaped her completely. She felt like she was having an out-of-body-experience, perceiving their struggle as something in the far of distance, she was almost watching it from above, and only like a faint echo did Nikki's voice penetrate her consciousness.

"Say "Mercy"" Nikki joked as she jabbed her free fingers into Helen's stomach in an attempt to tickle her into submission. But Helen hardly flinched. She couldn't concentrate on the explosion of emotions or the burning need to turn her body and allow herself to be taken by this woman, let alone scream for mercy. "I'll find you're weak spot, Helen, then you'll be sorry." Nikki's fingers continued to seek out Helen's ribcage and sides, her ears listening to the shrill giggles that began to permeate the air, and her lips curled into a smile. "Gotcha." She whispered as Helen struggled against her forcefully; enough to make her lose her footing and trip backwards onto the bed, dragging the 130lb woman with her.

Apart from the faint creaking of mattress springs, the room fell into deathly silence. Like someone had hit the pause button, neither woman dared to breath, speak or move in case it broke the sudden spell that had befallen them. The wind had been well and truly knocked out of their sails.

Helen suddenly found herself sprawled all over the woman who had haunted her in more than one way. She felt herself being drawn inevitably towards the heat of the woman beneath her. Nikki really had found her "weak" spot, but it was no where near where she had been tickled.

The long, slender fingers which were now located on her back, unmoving and holding her tightly with a deadly grip that she never wanted to be freed from.

With surprise Nikki looked up at the woman who was pinning her down on the mattress. She felt herself growing hotter and a familiar throbbing had begun between her legs, where the woman's jeans clad leg was unintentionally, yet, sinfully close to her burning centre. The emotions that ran through her had been long forgotten. Nikki had no recollection of how long it had been since anyone had evoked them in her, if at all. Yet this unknown woman had managed to get under her skin in a matter of hours…or had it been in the first instance their eyes had met on the plane?

They stared with bemusement into each others eyes once again, but this time seeing a mutual desire mirrored. However, none of them dared to move or to act. Helen felt herself being pulled in and in a split second she saw herself bending over Nikki's full lips kissing them with adoration and full blown desire. But could she let herself go enough to actually make her fantasy a reality? What would happen if she stripped herself of all her inhibitions and for once allowed herself to be driven by her heart rather than her head? In a split second her mind went blank and her body began to answer her own question as she bent her head in a journey of discovery.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**12pm - Christmas Eve**

Nikki's eyes were slowly closing over in anticipation of the impending kiss that was coming her way, from a set of luscious lips that were attached the most gorgeous specimen of woman that she had had the pleasure to set eyes and heart upon. And that her heart, which for so long had been dead skipped a beat and pounded wildly behind her breastbone, proving the damage that had been done to it over the years had not been irreparable.

The hands which clasped Helen tightly slowly began to tremble. Was it fear of where a kiss could lead? Was it a building trepidation of letting go, only to be hurt? Or was it just sheer excitement that led to these nervous quivers? The game she had been playing had suddenly turned dangerous and all thoughts of passports and pictures were long gone.

She lay patiently in wait. Basking in the pleasure of the warm, sweet breath wafting gently across her face in a rhythmic breeze, inhaling it into her own lungs as she drifted off, closer to pleasure. The stray strands of honey-blonde hair that dangled across her face tickled the skin causing her excitement to grow. For any second now her mouth would be consumed hungrily by an explorative, enquiring set of lips.

Helen watched Nikki lie quietly beneath her, her eyes firmly shut and her face a picture of contentment. There was no doubt about it, Nikki Wade had her hypnotized. Right now nothing or no one could make her draw her eyes away from the picturesque beauty. From head to toe she took in every little detail. The way Nikki's collar bone sunk deep into the silky, sallow skin. Helen had the urge to let her fingers trace the fine structure and to feel the smooth skin against her own. It hit her with an unforeseen force how much she actually wanted this woman lying underneath her. How could that be? She had always been with men, but suddenly this amazingly beautiful woman had captured all of her senses in a raw naked desire. And for a split second it made consider just how straight she in fact were.

She felt herself growing even hotter as the gentle roll of the ship moved their bodies closer together.

Helen also felt something else, and far less pleasant sensation. It was a distinct dizziness, announcing a fast approaching nauseous feeling from the pit of her belly, accompanied by an unmistakable rumbling in her stomach. Knowing only all too well what was soon going to happen Helen shot up from the otherwise pleasant cushion of Nikki Wade with the speed of lightning and dashed for the bathroom like her life depended on it; just in time to find the toilet before throwing up violently.

Whilst Helen deposited the contents of her stomach Nikki remained stagnant on the bed. At the sudden and forceful breaking apart of the hands that clutched Helen's back, her eyes had flown open, to catch nothing more than a fleeting glimpse of the object of her affection sprinting away from her at breakneck speed, a hand clasped over her mouth. What the hell was going on? One minute she was teetering dangerously on the brink of arousal and the next her spell had been broken to the unappealing echo of retching.

For a fleeting second paranoia set in and Nikki wondered if the idea of being intimate with her was so sickening to Helen that it had caused such a physical reaction, which was most certainly not the kind she had been hoping for! The sounds made Nikki involuntarily cringe and a deep frown showed on her face. It reminded her of some of the last words Trish had spat at her when they had their final fight.

"_You make me sick! You__'ll never be able to love anyone other than yourself!"_

Nikki closed her eyes as the words echoed through her mind mixing with the disturbing sounds from the small bathroom. Even if the rational part of her told her that Trish was wrong, the words still hurt, even after this time. And they had prevented her from having any kind of proper relationship for several years. She had closed her heart, but this unknown woman had suddenly made her long for someone to love. The petite Scot had opened depths in Nikki's heart and soul that she wasn't even aware that she had. It was very unsettling to her, yet it intrigued her. But was she ready to explore it? And with the reactions she had gotten so far from Helen, vomiting being the last and least pleasant, it was not very likely that she had much interest in Nikki at all.

Thinking back to the last 6 hours nothing had gone right. In fact everything had been fucked up and on top of it all, this bloody woman had done nothing but nag her tits off, argue with her non-stop, and proving herself in the process to be a total pain in arse. Yet Nikki did feel a strange unexplainable connection to the woman, who by all standards was incredible gorgeous to look at. The complexity had Nikki thoroughly confused as she mused about her unusual situation; until something caught her attention. The sounds had stopped. Nothing but the natural sounds within the ship was heard. For what seemed like an eternity Nikki just sat and listened intensely for any sign that Helen was still being sick. When nothing happened she began feeling concerned about the other woman. She got up and took the few steps towards the bathroom door, and was about to knock on it, as it suddenly opened, revealing a very pale Helen, with an angry scowl on her face.

Helen knelt herself on the tiny piece of flooring space in the bathroom, and let the contractions in her stomach overtake her entire body. She hated being sick, and couldn't remember a time, other than through a huge consumption of alcohol, that she had felt as nauseous, and without any warning,

She hugged the toilet bowl like her life depended on it, and when their was nothing left in her stomach to deposit, she brought her elbows up to rest on the seat, and placed her weary head in her hands. She felt absolutely ghastly, and there was only one rational explanation for it…the damn sea and its inability to stay calm.

"_God, what must Nikki be thinking?" _The sudden realisation that she had left Nikki sprawled across the bed waiting in anticipation made her jump up to her feet; an act which she instantly regretted as her stomach jumped with her. She swallowed quickly and held her breath tightly in the hope the bile that was threatening to regurgitate would stay were it was; and for the time being it did.

She let out her breath with a gasp and shook her head as she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror.

"_Look at the state of you…no wonder Nikki didn't sit up and kiss you." She let out a mirthless laugh and shook her head again. "I'm losing it. I'm talking to myself, in a bathroom, on a ship, bound for England, on Christmas eve and not only am I questioning my sanity, but my sexuality! I need a shower, a sleep and a bevy load of booze!" _Slowly she began to unbutton her blouse and with the greatest of ease she slid it from her shoulders. Ever muscle in her body felt like it was strained, and she likened it to having gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. All she wanted right now was to step into the crammed shower cubicle and feel the warm water cascade down her aching limbs. Not only would it be soothing and hopefully eradicate this sudden bout of seasickness, but it would buy her an extra twenty minutes away from Nikki. She needed to gather her thoughts and her composure before she stepped back into the room where the tempestuous beauty would no doubt be waiting on her with a few choice words…and for that she felt like she needed to be prepared. But as she stopped thinking about her and took in her surrounding she knew she was going to see Nikki Wade a lot sooner than she anticipated.

Marching a few spaces to the door, avoiding a large, perilous puddle she grabbed the handle angrily and yanked the white plastic partition open; only to find Nikki's face mere inches from her own - she wasn't going to have to travel far for this fight.

"Have you seen the state you've left the bathroom in!?" It may have been a question, but she didn't wait for the answer. "There is water everywhere, all the free samples are empty and there are no towels! At least, not one that's dry!" Helen's eyes bulged from her pale face.

"Well, I'd give you this one…but…" Nikki motioned towards the white fluffy towel she had rewrapped around her body and smirked. "I was coming to ask if you were okay, but it seems like even in sickness you are a bitch, so I won't bother."

"Can you blame me, Nikki! Look at the place…its like the Poseidon Adventure in there! All I wanted was a nice shower to make myself feel better, and now I feel a million times worse…excuse me." Nikki moved from the doorway to let Helen storm pass, and watched her stomp moodily to the bed, where she threw back the duvet and climbed in; fully clothed and without another word.

The nagging doubts that were in Nikki's mind were now confirmations set in concrete. Helen Stewart really had no interest in her at all, and the sooner she got away from her, the sooner she would prevent herself from once again getting her heart broken.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**5pm - Christmas Eve**

As the P&O ferry gently cruised into Liverpool Dock, Helen and Nikki gathered their belongings together and silently made their way amongst the crowds, back down to the lower deck car park where the now battered, and rather pitiful looking Red Peugeot sat waiting.

"I'll be glad to get off of this bloody boat…" Helen still had a rather greenish tinge to her pale skin and even although there was nothing left in her stomach tobring up, it continued to churn ominously.

"You should have taken something for seasickness if you had known you were going to vomit everywhere." Nikki added with a hint of mockery.

"And where was I supposed to get sickness pills? Magic them out of thin air?" Helen snapped and threw Nikki a dirty look.

"No, the ferry shop - they had quite a collection." Nikki smirked knowingly and revelled in the disgusted look that crossed Helen's pasty face.

"Why didn't you tell me!?"

"Slipped my mind, I guess." Nikki shrugged indifferently and tried to contain her laughter. It genuinely hadn't occurred to her to suggest some form of medicine to alleviate Helen's sickness, but she knew Helen would doubt what ever she said anyway. So if the fiery Scot wanted to believe she had forgotten out of malice, then who was she to argue.

"I bet it did; rather conveniently." Helen unlocked the car door, shot Nikki a look of contention and got in, leaving Nikki to put the cases back in the boot.

"So, where to next?" Nikki asked as she joined Helen In the front of the car, rubbing her hands together to try and generate some heat in her body.

"Where do you think? Glasgow of course; unless there is somewhere else you want me to drop you off?" Helen raised her eyebrow, all the while wondering if Liverpool had any cliffs where she could do just that.

"Nope. Glasgow is fine with me."

"Finally" Helen exclaimed as she tried to start the car.

"Finally what?" Nikki looked confused.

"Finally I've suggested something you approve of."

"Well, I wouldn't't go that far." Nikki grinned riling Helen even more. Helen grunted in frustration at the battered Peugeot, which again was taking its time to warm up and start. She shifted gear, and it rolled with ease out of the parking space. Things seemed to be without problem as slowly it trundled down towards the ramp which would lead them back onto the open road. Well, that was until the vehicle, without warning, came to a grinding halt.

"It's just stalled," Helen quickly offered as way of explanation as she fought the get the motor started again; which of course it wouldn't. The only sign of life it offered was a billowing of thick grey smoke from the bonnet.

Helen braced herself for the abuse that was bound to follow from her travel companion, who wasn't known for her calmness or tact.

"Pardon me for saying, but if my car stalls, it doesn't usually have smoke exploding from it. So are you going to add mechanic to your repertoire, Miss "doctor/governor/spy/know it all" Stewart?"

"No I bloody well am not. Why don't you get out and sort it? Or are you only used to fixing Porsche's?" Helen sniped, bringing up the conversation from earlier in the day.

"Porsche?" Nikki snorted. "In the 80's maybe. No, I have an Audi TT convertible actually." The statement should have sounded patronizing, but coming from Nikki it didn't sound so condescending; just damn sarcastic. But it was enough to make Helen roll her eyes.

"Just get out and take a look…please." She added the pleasantry through gritted teeth and its purpose seemed to work. Nikki, without complaint got out and went to inspect the damage; and the prognosis wasn't good.

"The gasket has gone - I think?"

"You think?"

"Well, I'm not a bloody expert, am I?"

"This is just marvelous! Sean was right for once, this idea to go to Scotland was ludicrous!" Like a woman on the verge of a mental breakdown, Helen yanked open the trunk of the car and began to haul the luggage out onto the Tarmac. "Help me push this piece of crap back into a parking space!"

"Then what are you going to do with it?" Nikki questioned, fully expecting her head to be bitten off.

"You know, Nikki, I couldn't give a flying fuck…it can drive up my arse and explode for all I care right now." With over exaggerated hand movements, Helen flew into a rage. "Anyway, this is all your fault!" Helen stomped off down the gangway like a petulant child with Nikki hot on her tail.

"How the hell did you work that one out? It wasn't me who grabbed the map, who took her eyes off the road, crashed the bloody car and fucked up the gasket!"

"No, but it was your shit map reading skills that led to me arguing with you in the first place, hence the crash! If you hadn't pissed me off we wouldn't be stranded in Liverpool with no means of transportation!"

"And if you had hired a more expensive car with a GPRS tracking system then you wouldn't have needed me to read a bloody map! So basically, when you look at all the facts, the blame should be placed at your feet; for you're a tight-arse. It's as simple as that." ." Helen cringed, wishing she hadn't reminded Nikki just a minute ago of the argument over cars.

"Tight-arse! Well that's rich coming from the woman who wouldn't fork out for £160 for a cabin but made full use of mine and has yet to even offer me as much as a penny towards the car rental or petrol! I think you should use all that money you're squandering, invest in a mirror and take a good, long, hard look at yourself in it, Nicola!" Nikki flinched, at the full use of her name and the insults. She took a deep breath, to try and calm herself, but gave up before she had even inhaled properly.

"You didn't ask me to share the costs, or else I would have, but if that's the way you want to play it, then here…" Nikki pulled out the wallet that was tucked away in her back pocket, her eyes lowered, therefore missing the way Helen's eyes had followed the path of her hand going to her bum pocket. She grabbed a fistful of £10 notes which she threw in Helen's face. " Buy yourself a lobotomy and some bloody manners!" Nikki purposely bumped into Helen as she fled past her, in haste to get back onto solid ground. But still her legs shook from the excess adrenaline that pumped through her system from all the arguing she had been doing. Or was it from the intense sexual chemistry which she could have sworn was passing between them? It was undeniably there, but neither were willing to acknowledge or admit it.

"I don't want you money, Nikki, I want an apology!" Helen turned and shouted to be heard over the gusts of coastal wind that caught in her throat.

"An apology for what? For not being the person you hoped I would be?" Nikki threw back bitterly.

"And what is that supposed to mean? oh you know what, just forget it, screw you, Nikki The word sorry clearly isn't in your vocabulary."

"I can say sorry when I need to, but quite frankly, Miss Stewart, I don't think you deserve it. In fact, if anyone should be handing out apologies here, then it should be you!"

"Me?!" Helen widened her eyes and stabbed her finger forcefully into her chest.

"Yes, you. Ever since we met you have done nothing but grate on my nerves. You have bitten my head off at every given opportunity…." Nikki was just getting into her tirade when Helen began to scream over her.

"And what about you! You have been a complete bitch since I sat next to you on that plane! You have offered me nothing but snide comments and sarcastic gibes. You have taken no time whatsoever to try to get to know me. What's wrong, Nikki, scared you might like what you find?"

"You are so far off the mark, Helen. And can I just say, at least my bitchiness has been warranted!" Helen shook her head, bemused.

"You know, I have prisoners in my care who show more compassion, maturity and moral standing than you do. In fact I don't know how you have managed to avoid serving time at Her Majesty's pleasure. If sarcasm was a crime they would lock you up and throw away the key!"

"Well, If the Lords ever decided to pass that law, I'll remember to beg not to be sent to HMP Larkhall! Now, if you will excuse me, I have family to get back to!" Nikki turned and stormed off to the taxi queue, which was by now empty. She threw her one bag into the back of a waiting cab, and within seconds she was gone from sight. Helen stood on the gangway, a wad of money in her hand, her cases by her side and her eyes transfixed on the spot where Nikki had been standing only a moment before and which now was nothing more than an empty space.

The firing of insults had been the norm for the last 10 hours, and Helen had thought nothing of it to shout like a mad woman, but now she was beginning to think she had taken it too far. She hadn't expected Nikki to leave her to complete the last leg of the journey alone. She had taken it for granted that they would continue on to Scotland together, arguing and sniping the entire way. But now Nikki was gone, without as much as a goodbye or a contact number and Helen felt like a limb had been removed from her body.

"You're a stubborn bitch, Helen Stewart!" Helen berated herself, and wished she had just apologised when she had had the chance. If she had then she wouldn't be standing here, alone in the cold, with a deep sense of loss and regret eating away at her conscience. She knew she had to at least accept half of the responsibility for the way this journey had turned out. . Helen always found it hard to accept fault but with Nikki being just as damn pig-headed, then admitting to the blame was almost impossible.

Now, here she was, in Liverpool, England; stranded, cold and lonely and she didn't like it one bit. What she would give for just one more argument with a certain Nikki Wade.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

**6pm - Christmas Eve**

The sun had long ago set across the horizon, and the wintry streets of Liverpool were shrouded in darkness; illuminated only by a few strategically placed streetlamps and the bright yellow fog lights beaming from passing cars as they sped past in the slush-filled roads.

A nearby church bell rang out, signalling the approximate time to the commuters who rushed through the busy streets towards Liverpool's Lime Street Train Station. Most were laden with shopping bags, having spent most of the day exhaustively trawling the shopping arcades of the city for last minute Christmas gifts, that later would be tightly wrapped and placed under the decorated pine tree in preparation for the following days festive celebrations.

Helen's day had been equally as tiresome and turbulent as her fellow commuters, but unlike everyone else, her day was far from over. She couldn't just go home and put her feet up with a bottle of finely chilled white wine. For she had at least another 300 miles to travel before she could have the pleasure of being with the only person she had ever loved. But the very idea of such a long journey, alone, made her feel like bursting into self-pitying tears.

It had been a crazy idea to go all the way to Scotland on Christmas eve in the first place, but the notion had taken her only a few hours before she had departed in whirlwind of sudden mania. It had been a mad dash to pack and secure a ticket on the flight, added with the pressure of telling her partner Sean of her plans. He had been expecting both of them to drive up to his parents rural cottage in Shropshire for the holidays, and the abrupt and unexpected news that Helen had, on a whim, decided on going back to Glasgow simply infuriated him.

The argument that had ensued was short but tempestuous. Sean aired his feelings, fuming like a mad man as he paced the floor trying to digest what he was being told, whilst Helen kept her calm as she tried to rationalise her decision, to herself, and her fiancé. But it wouldn't have mattered what she said or did. Sean had already left, slamming the door furiously behind him. The door may not have been slammed in her face; but that's exactly what it had felt like. Why couldn't Sean see things from her point of view; see how important this was to her? The answer came simply to her - he was a selfish, self-centred bastard who never looked further than himself. That was the bottom line. He always had been a self orbiting, conceited prick, and like a leopard that would never change his spots; he always would be.

What she ever saw in him she wasn't sure. Although on first sight she had been taken in by his boyish good-looks, the public-school charm, refined manners and cheeky grin. Every little thing Sean did these day was like listening to fingernails being scratched down a blackboard- simply unbearable. The boyish good-looks, she soon realised, purely was not her taste at all, the public-school charm turned out to be over-confident cockiness , the refined manners were no more than a profoundly arrogant snobbery which she grew to detest and the cheeky grin soon turned into an "I-know-better" smirk. There was no doubt left in Helen's mind that this was one relationship that was about to become a thing of the past.

The queue for the ticket office was unbearably long and the very idea of having to stand in it was almost enough to reduce Helen to a quivering wreck. Her arms ached from lugging the cases behind her, the skin on her feet were beginning to chaff in her shoes from walking around and tiredness was making her feel beyond irritable. She didn't know if she had the energy to snap, but the self-created fantasy of it was satisfying enough.

It took almost 30 minutes for the queue of travellers in front of her to dissipate and by that point she had almost forgotten why she was even standing there in the first place. She was dead on her feet and getting ready to ask for a one-way ticket back to London to put and end to this farce of a journey once and for all. But as the ticketing assistant asked for her details she found herself requesting instead for a ticket to Glasgow. What was the point in turning back now, when she had come so far? Not when all that would be waiting for her back home would be a cold, silent and very lonely apartment

"That will be £128 please." The man behind the plastic partition requested payment and Helen had to bite her tongue at the ridiculous price for a one-way ticket. This whole holiday was costing her the price of a trip to the Bahamas - but it would be worth every penny to say a final goodbye. So with little hesitation, she slid over her credit card and collected her ticket. "It'll be leaving in about ten minutes, love. Platform five. Better get your skates on." He gave her a cheery, almost flirtatious wink, but all Helen could do was nod in acknowledgment and make her way towards the bright red Virgin train which sat stationary, boarding the final passengers to arrive.

The walk along the platform seemed to go on forever. The endless length of carriages stretched beyond sight and just one look at it made Helen want to quit there and then. But one last burst of determination stopped her from dropping herself and her luggage to the ground and drove her towards Coach B.

Coach B was packed with bodies by the time Helen got to it. The trains heating system caused condensation to steam up the windows. The watery-dew trickled down the glass mirroring the beads of sweat that filtered down Helen's forehead. The air was clammy, and it didn't help that she was lugging 20lbs of clothes behind her.

All the luggage compartments by now were crammed tightly with bags and suitcases, and with little hope of being able to fit her own in, she somewhat truculently deposited the suitcase in the hallway opposite the toilet. If it caused an obstruction, then tough. Let the idiots being paid the national-minimum-wage find a place to store it, she though to herself, and checked her ticket one last time to ascertain her seat number, which to her dismay was far down the aisle. "Trust me to come in the wrong bloody door!" she mumbled under her breath as she fought past a deluge of tired limbs hanging over the armrests. It didn't help matters that the train had started to rock back and forth on the steel tracks as it backed out of the station, picking up speed with each passing second.

Trying to manoeuvre was no easy task, and neither, it seemed, was finding a seat. 24A, the seat which the ticket-office had allocated her had a bald, middle-aged man in suit filling it to capacity.

"Excuse me," Helen held on shakily to the back of the chair as she looked down onto a sweaty, bare scalp. "But you appear to be in my seat," and to prove the point, she thrust her ticket into his unconcerned face.

"And?" The nonchalant reply was not what she had been expecting to hear and in an instant her hackles rose.

"And, I would like to sit in it! Now if you don't mind!" She tried to put her anger across without raising her voice, as she knew she could do when things became heated. But it obviously wasn't quiet enough, as people had begun to stare inquisitively.

"Sorry, first come, first serve. If you're so desperate to sit, find another, for I am not moving. Now, if _you _don't mind, I have business to attend to." Without a second glance he lifted his recently bought copy of The Guardian, shaking out the broadsheets creases noisily. Helen had the urge to drag the pompous English git out of the seat by the scruff of the neck and give him his first "Glasgow-Kiss", but thought better of it. Being thrown off the train to spend a night in the cells was not an option she was about to take.

Instead, with a deep breath she stomped off, "accidentally" hitting the shiny, follicley-challenged seat-stealer on the head with her handbag as she threw it across her shoulder. "Pity there wasn't a brick in it," she thought to herself a small smug smile crept onto her lips. But it didn't stay there for long.

She walked through coach B, to C and then onto D, but each carriage was packed to full-capacity. All there was left was E and the buffet cart, and there was no way in hell she was prepared to pay for an extremely pricey upgrade to first class.

Her headache and the blisters on her feet pulsated to the same agonising rhythm, each begging for the pressure to be taken off them. But just as Helen was about to lose all faith, she spotted what seemed to be two empty seats at the far end of the aisle. If she had been as religious as her father she would have screamed "Hallelujah" at the top of her voice, but settled for making a beeline for them before someone else did.

When she reached her goal her heart sank. One seat had a brand-new-looking rucksack placed on it, obviously to reserve it whilst its owner slunk off for refreshments. But the other looked to be completely free. The table was up, no foreign objects were selfishly sprawled over it…so without second thought Helen plonked herself down and let out a massive sigh of relief. Next to be plonked down was her handbag, which landed at her feet with a thud, and was soon followed by the clunk of discarded shoes.

The sensation of her fingers massaging her aching toes was like a little piece of heaven on earth. Almost immediately the strains and stress of the day began to wear away and the metaphorical dark clouds that hung overhead slowly started to drift away. Or had they?

"Oh great…the proverbial bad penny.." Nikki whispered to herself as she caught sight of the somewhat dishevelled appearance of Helen Stewart who was rubbing her petite tight-clad feet. "Some bastard is playing a sick joke on me," she added to herself as she sidled closer. "Well, well. What's this then? Payback for the last 14 hours?" Helen heard the breathy accusatory voice waft her way and it didn't take her more than a second to realise whose vocal chords the words had left. Her head shot round to the right, the shocked expression gracing her face almost laughable. She was like a rabbit in the headlights, clearly not expecting these sudden turn of events.

"What are…what are you doing here?" She gasped.

"I could ask you the same thing, darlin'…you're in my seats."

"Seats?" Helen snapped, petulantly.

"Yes, plural. It's not against the law to buy yourself a little bit of comfort, is it?" Nikki's eyebrows raised questioningly.

"No, but I thought…Oh hell, I don't know what I'm thinking any more." The deep brown eyes of Nikki Wade boring into her brought about a sudden discomfort that put her on edge. She slid her feet back into her shoes and lifted her bag back off the floor. "I'll go and leave you in peace." Helen tried to flatten down her rapidly frizzing hair and shield her face from Nikki's view as she stood. She didn't need a mirror to know that she looked like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. What she didn't understand though was her unexpected self-consciousness. What did it matter if Nikki thought she was a sorry mess? It's not like she had an urge to impress her, or did she?

"Stay where you are, the trains heaving with people, you'll never find anther empty seat." Nikki's sudden burst of compassion was nearly as startling to Helen as it was to find herself back in the woman's company.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…let's just call it payment and a thanks for everything you did for me today." Nikki gave her a smile which Helen was unsure whether to return.

"You don't owe me anything, Nikki."

"No? Well I think I do. I'd still be in Ireland if it wasn't for you. Just don't think I've gone all soppy. I'm still the bitch you met this morning, okay?" This time Helen did smile.

"If you say so. And I'm still easily wound up….so don't aggravate me." Helen flashed her a half-serious look of warning to which Nikki shrugged.

"Nikki…I mean it…"

"Okay, whatever…"

"Oh this just isn't going to work, is it…I might have known you being nice was too good to be true." Helen again stood, but a noise from over head stopped her from barging past and down the aisle. The bing-bong alert of the tannoy system sent dread coursing through her. With her luck today the announcement was sure to be bad news….and she wasn't wrong.

"Ladies and Gents, this is Tom, your train manager. Unfortunately due to the bad weather conditions having an effect on the tracks just outside of Glasgow, we will have to take a different route. This train will now divert and alight at Aberdeen. Virgin apologises for any inconvenience caused."

Helen's eyes met Nikki's and mirrored she saw her own reaction of horror. The nightmare continued.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

**9PM - Christmas Eve**

Both women continued to stare transfixed at each other with their mouths agape, long after the announcement had stopped. The look on their faces said that at any minute they would either cry, or lose it and go completely over the edge. Their nerves, disposition and sanity were totally shattered by now and both knew fine well that there was little more they could take on this total farce of a journey. What had initially started off as something of an adventure was rapidly turning into a living nightmare none of them could ever have imagined.

"What the hell do we do now?" Helen finally managed to spit out. "Aberdeen is 150 miles from Glasgow! I just don't fucking believe this. Someone up there is punishing me for this trip, I know it." She looked up to the ceiling with frustration and then quickly bent her head again to rub her throbbing temple.

"There's not much we can do, is there?" She said more as a statement than as an actual question. "Right, we're just going to find someway back to Glasgow that doesn't involve planes, trains or automobiles." Nikki quickly slid in past Helen and placed her rucksack on the floor so she could sit and digest what she was going to do.

"And what do you suggest?" Came the quick sarcastic reply from the woman beside her. "We hire mountain bikes? Or even better, a set of ski's! That will get us back In record time!" Helen felt her blood pressure sore, and it didn't help that a certain Nikki Wade, bane of her life, was now in fits of laughter.

"What's so bloody funny!?" Helen snapped, trying to contain her own giggles which had started despite her anger. She wasn't going to give Nikki the satisfaction of knowing she had made things seem a bit brighter.

"I just was picturing you slaloming down the West Highland Way, in a pink jumpsuit, goggles and ear muffs, like Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards." Describing the mental image aloud only seemed to make it all the more funny to Nikki, who was now bent double on her seat, her head resting against the small plastic fold-away tray. Tears streaked down her cheeks, and the guffawing became so loud, fellow passengers began to turn in their seats to see what all the commotion was about. Even a young heavily-pierced guy who had his MP3 player set to maximum volume sent a conspicuous look their way.

"Shh…shut up, Nikki, people are staring." Helen said trying to stifle her own chuckles. She bent her head so it was close to Nikki's and for good measure she gave her a prod in the ribs, which only sought to make matters worse. By now Helen had let go of her tension and joined in with the jovial school-girl giggling, and both lapped it up until they had no more breath or energy left.

"That was just what I needed." Nikki took in a huge gasp of air and wiped her soaked eyes dry with the back of her hand, making sure not to smudge her mascara. "Thanks for letting me laugh at your expense." She smiled fondly at Helen.

"It's fine. I guess a laugh is really what we both need after the last 24 hours of hassles." Helen said a little more subdued now as the laughter had died out. Her eyelids fell and Nikki watched, mesmerized, at the way the long mascara-coated lashes brushed the skin of Helen's cheeks. She felt a sharp flash of warm emotions she hadn't felt for a very, very long time. Emotions she had long forgotten, and not really had wanted to re-acquaint herself with. Yet now they flooded her making her feel ready to embrace them. It took her by surprise, but she didn't let on when finally speaking.

"Hey, cheer up. It means you get to spend some more time in my company…now that can't be all bad can it?" Nikki smiled and she was glad to see Helen did too, though it was not a big smile, it was genuine and made her eyes light up.

"That's debatable. But I guess I have no option do I?"

"Nope. None at all!" Nikki said with determination. "So how about we get pissed and make this train journey go in with a bang?"

"Aye, now that sounds like the best thing I've heard all day. Make mine a red wine...a huge bevy load of it." Helen sighed and revelled in the thought of drinking herself into oblivion, as she slumped a little bit in her seat.

"What the lady wants, the lady will get." Nikki stood as best she could with her long legs in such a cramped space, and tried to edge herself out of the seat, past Helen. The sensation of Helen's knees brushing the back of her calf's was the sweetest torture, but she took a deep breath and pushed the feelings to the back of her mind. "Don't ruin it now Wade." She thought, chastising herself for the less than pristine thoughts the touch had invoked in her tired head. "Be back in a jiffy," without looking back she made her way down the aisle, albeit unsteadily, as the carriage rocked back and forth on the icy frost-coated rails.

Helen watched her walk away, her eyes rooted to the jean-clad behind of her companion, hypnotised by the strong swaying hips that were attached to defined, on-going legs that a catwalk model would have envied. As the form of Nikki disappeared out of the coach behind the sliding doors, Helen blinked several times to will her mind back into focus.

Mentally she sighed. Thoughts like the ones running wild around her head would land her nowhere but in deep trouble. Any of those thoughts would make a difficult situation even more complex and hard to handle. It was really not something she needed at the moment. Yet no matter how many times she tried to rid her mind of the long legs and soulful brown eyes, the gorgeous woman kept creeping into her thoughts making it hard to concentrate on the magazine she had taken from the seat pocket in front of her. She knew in her heart that she wanted this woman, but it had taken her by surprise. At first she would have dismissed the thoughts as just a physical attraction, however novel it would be to her. But the longer they had spent in each others company the more Helen was sure that there was much more to the feelings that Nikki had evoked in her. She just didn't know if she was ready to embrace them. And she was not even sure Nikki would feel the same way about her, a woman. For all Helen knew Nikki could be with someone else. She sighed, this time aloud, and stared blindly out of the window into the darkness.

Helen was pulled back to the reality when Nikki put a glass and six small bottles of wine in front of her.

"Right, here you go, Madam" she said brightly. "Time to get pissed."

Helen could not help but smile at the statement.

"Spoken like a true Scot," she said and blinked to Nikki, who tried to squeeze past her. As the train made a sway Nikki collapsed ungracefully in a heap half on top of Helen and half into her own seat, her long legs entangled in the straps of Helens bag on the floor.

The heat from their bodies burned them, and flashes of a similar encounter flashed before their eyes: Nikki half naked underneath Helen on the ferry. Helen's leg was between Nikki's and dangerously close to a certain aching part of her body, and Nikki's hand had landed very close to Helen's right breast when she tried to avoid to fall flat on her face. They both blushed a deep crimson and Nikki finally managed to get her long frame put into an upright position in the seat.

They didn't speak for a while, just drinking the wine, each in a world of their own pondering about what had just happened, but both afraid to speak about it. They had both felt the bolt of electricity as they had touched, but what could it mean?

"So where in Glasgow are you heading for?" Nikki finally said to ease up the sudden tension between them.

Helen didn't speak immediately, but hesitated for a moment emptying her glass before speaking.

"It is not exactly in Glasgow. It's a bit up north… Stirling…" she had drawn the sentence out, as if she was afraid to say the last word. "And you?" she asked.

"I'm going to Larkhall," Nikki said brightly, but before she could add that it was for visiting her sister Jennifer, who had married to a Scot David 8 years ago, she was curtly interrupted by a cold Scottish voice.

"That is not funny, Nikki!"

Nikki looked totally bemused at the now angry women next to her. Helen had transformed from the tired looking weary woman to a picture of fury. She had no idea what could have triggered it, but she was more than sure she was about to find out.

"You don't go around making jokes about going to prison!" Helen said, her accent growing thicker with every syllable.

"I'm not," Nikki said not getting the point at all, but she could feel her blood beginning to boil. Why did that damned woman have to jump her throat every time she spoke?

"I'm the governor of HMP Larkhall, which I'm sure you're only too bloody well aware off." Helen said a bit too loud, once again attracting the attention of their fellow passengers. "And it's no joke going to prison."

A light bulb suddenly went on in Nikki's brain and she started to giggle uncontrollably, earning her yet another furiously glare from Helen, who had turned into a human thundercloud.

"Helen, you of all people should know that there is a place in Scotland called Larkhall," Nikki gasped between the fits of laughter, which only increased as Helen looked totally dumbstruck.

"Larkhall is a small town just south of Glasgow," Nikki said carefully wiping her eyes. "And I'm going there to visit my sister."

Helen blushed a very dark shade of red, when she realized her mistake. How stupid could a woman be? She could have kicked herself. Of course, she knew the town, but she had forgotten about it. She had been away from home too long. She furiously swallowed half a glass of the wine without thinking, with the result of her almost choking on it, making Nikki jump in her seat.

"You all right there?"

"Aye… it just went down the wrong way," Helen gasped and she began to chuckle at the words and at Nikki's worried face.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you," she said solemnly as the giggles had subsided.

"*It's ok… no worries," Nikki said. She twirled her empty glass in her hand. "So who you going to visit then?"

Helen didn't speak, but was just looking at the bottle in front of her. "Just family," she finally said not looking at Nikki, who had the distinct feeling that Helen was evading her questions.

She didn't feel like prodding into what clearly seemed to be a private matter, so instead she just kept silent.

The train ride soon came to an end. They managed to get Helen's huge suitcase off the train and onto a trolley. The station was totally empty, but for the passengers from the train. Outside the streets seemed dark and deserted. Not a single taxi could be spotted, though it was no huge surprise considering that it was Christmas Eve.

"What do we do know?" Nikki said scratching her head, ruffling her hair in the process. Helen suddenly looked very tired and grey in the dim blue light from the sign above the station entrance.

"I got no clue, but I'm about to pass out from being tired. I could literally sleep right here." And she looked like she meant it.

Nikki didn't fancy sleeping on the doorstep to the station on Christmas Eve, or any other evening for that matter. She racked her brain and looked around in search of some sort of clue how to get them out of their predicament.

"Right, we need to find a hotel. Come back inside, we'll find a telephone and some numbers for hotels. There must be some, even in Aberdeen" she said with a lop sided smile, which made Helen feel a bit better, and issue a small smile herself.

However, the smiles have totally vanished within the next 30 minutes. They had called all the hotels listed in the telephone book, and not one of them had a room, be it single, double, twin, suite or any other combination.

Nikki had a scowl on her face as she slammed the telephone down for the last time. She swore profoundly under her breath and received a tired, but understanding look from Helen, who had slumped down on a hard plastic chair next to the telephone.

"Of all the bigoted bastards alive this last one was the worst… I can't fucking believe this," she said furiously having the urge to kick someone or something very hard. She started to pace around the trolley with Helen's suitcase and puffed angrily away on her cigarette plainly ignoring the no-smoking sign on the nearby wall.

A couple of elderly people hurried past the two women, giving Nikki some very disapproving looks, which she deliberately chose not to take any notice off.

Helen sat staring into nothing, not really hearing Nikki ranting on. She felt as deserted as the streets outside. What had she been thinking off, rushing back to Scotland on Christmas day. For what reason? She sighed, it had been an impulse, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She had not been home for a very long time. In fact not since she had fallen out with her dad just after her mum's death. She had never been close to her dad, who was a stern and fierce minister of the local Presbyterian community, but she did love him. So it had hurt her deeply when their argument had resulted in her packing her bags and leaving for London. Not once had he tried to contact her. That is until now. So partly for that reason and partly because she needed to "speak" to her mum she had decided to return to her hometown. Because it was the only right thing to do, she could no longer ignore what she had to do.

Something suddenly caught her attention, but it was not Nikki still pacing up and down. It was the word 'Glasgow'. She looked up and around. At the other end of the hall a man in a blue suit stood surrounded by a lot of elderly people.

"Last call for the over 60's tour bus to Glasgow!" he shouted again.

Helen got to her feet and ran towards the small crowd ignoring Nikki's yell of surprise. In no time she came to a stop in front of the suit clad man.

"Excuse me," she panted "How can I get on that bus to Glasgow?"

The man looked at Helen with surprise.

"You don't," he said flatly. At Helen's crestfallen expression he softened a bit and explained. "You need to be above 60. It's the annual over 60's Christmas Ceilidh in Glasgow done by Saga Tours. If you don't have a bus pass, you ain't getting on."

Helen felt close to tears and it must have shown on her face. Also her rather dishevelled tired look must have hit a cord in the man's heart. He scratched his head and seemed to be thinking hard.

"Listen, love," he finally said. "The bus is not full this year. You can have a ticket if you like."

Helen had to stop herself from throwing her arms around him in joy. She made the arrangements and paid the man before hurrying back to a puzzled looking Nikki.

"We're going to Glasgow!" she said triumphantly as Nikki was about to ask her what it was all about.

"Come on. We need to wait outside. The bus will be here at any minute."

Nikki didn't understand what Helen was on about, but seeing the light and spark in Helen's eyes was enough to convince her that they were truly going to Glasgow in a few moments. She was too relieved to ask any more questions and gave the trolley a push, rolling it out onto the pavement and somewhat reluctantly followed Helen down the street. Where they would end up, God only knew.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

**2am - Christmas Day**

Helen felt elated. Here she was, back on Scottish soil. She was finally getting home. Things seemed to have changed for the better, even the streets looked far more inviting. As a matter of fact Aberdeen looked exactly as Helen had envisioned it would; covered in snow, frosty and if you looked past the chaos it caused, extremely picturesque. If she hadn't been so damn dog-tired she would have thrown herself down into the massive mounds of white marshmallow-like snow and rolled around like she had done as a child on Christmas day on the walk back from church. She had loved the feeling of the cold slush on the hands, the tingling and the loss of sensation it caused in her tiny fingers. It was all worth it to have her mum join in in making snow angels that would still be there, outside the house, long into boxing day.

"Just a few more hours, Mum…and I'll be there." She whispered the words aloud and wrapped her cardigan tightly around her to keep in some heat.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she had forgotten all about Nikki and the trolley with her suitcase. Only when it bumped into her did she remember. Normally she would have gone off like a rocket when someone bumped into her, but the apologetic look on Nikki's face and her happiness about getting home just made her smile.

"Come over here, Nikki. The bus will be here shortly," she said still with a sparkling light in her eyes.

"What's this all about?" Nikki asked. "How are we going to get to Glasgow?"

"All in good time, ma dear," Helen laughed happily. "Patience and you'll see." Helen grinned and tapped her nose.

The smile on Helen's face sent Nikki's heart racing. That cute toothy- beam with the tongue right behind the front teeth was so endearing. However, outwardly Nikki tried to keep her cool, and thus she just lifted an eyebrow, trying to look utterly sceptical, even if her heart leapt with joy over going home.

The faint roar of a starting engine made both of them turn their heads with great expectation.

The bus that pulled up sent the colour draining from Nikki's face and a huge grin onto Helen's.

"No, this isn't happening." Nikki looked to Helen for conformation that she was imaging what she was seeing, but all she got in return was a cheeky giggle.

"Afraid to say it is true. Saga tours will be our saviour…who would have thought it." She let out a dirty laugh.

"It's not bloody funny. Old age pensioners smell, Helen! 4 hours spent in a cramped space with 60 coffin-dodgers eating boiled sweets and stinking of urine is not my idea of being saved. I'd rather sit here in the snow until I can get proper transport home." Nikki petulantly sat on the wall and crossed her arms.

"Stop being a baby, Nikki. How bad can it be, if it means you get home to a warm house and a cosy bed?" Nikki knew that as usual, Helen was right.

"Fine…but don't come crying to me when this journey turns into Cocoon 4." Nikki scowled gloomily at Helen.

The bus came to a stop in front of them and a small, skinny man with huge spectacles climbed out of the bus.

"Going to Glasgow?" he said in a crisp voice.

"Yes," Helen replied with a smile.

"Right, let me take your bags," he said cheerily.

Nikki much doubted that he would be able to carry Helen's suitcase without breaking his back. She stood watching him heave the big bag from the trolley and with much effort putting it down on the pavement before dragging it towards the bus where he opened the big luggage hold below the windows. Nikki frowned as he almost threw both himself and the suitcase into the storage. She shook her head as she turned to board the bus.

Helen had cheerfully climbed the stairs and disappeared into the dimly lit bus without waiting for Nikki. She had already found their seats and had placed herself at the window. Nikki looked wearily around her as she stepped onto the bus, but in doing so she banged her head on the low ceiling, causing her to mutter a long range of obscene words, which earned her a lot of shocked looks from the elderly passengers and huge grin from Helen.

"Why can't they build the bloody busses for normal people?" she asked Helen as she slumped down in the seat next to her scraping her knees in the process.

Helen just laughed as Nikki fidgeted around in her seat trying to get comfortable and not succeeding at all.

"Not everyone is 10 ft bean pole," Helen said cheekily.

"And not everyone is a short arse," came the curt reply.

"Better small and quick than big and slow," Helen chuckled as Nikki gave her another scowl.

Somehow the small skinny man must have managed finally to get Helen's suitcase in place, since he climbed onto the bus, and fumbled a bit before seating himself in the driver's seat.

"Tell me it's a mistake," Nikki groaned as she realized who their driver was.

"What's wrong?" Helen said oblivious to what Nikki was referring.

"We got a blind bat for a driver," Nikki mumbled and closed her eyes. "On icy roads…. And look… now it's started to snow, isn't that just great?"

Indeed it had begun to snow heavily. Helen looked out of the window following the big fluffy snowflakes with her eyes. It had been snowing like this the day it had happened. She remembered running out into the snow, but even the cold had not taken the pain away. She was pulled out of her dark memories as the bus almost jump started and began to move slowly through the narrow roads of Aberdeen towards the motorway to Glasgow. Not long to go, she thought before turning to her head to have a closer look at Nikki who sat stiffly and white faced beside her.

"Hiya… what's wrong with you?" she asked carefully, as Nikki looked as she was ready to faint,

"I'm too young to die," she murmured gripping the armrests so hard her knuckles went all white.

"What?" Helen looked puzzled.

"Didn't you see the driver?" Nikki said a little more agitated. "He can't even see past his own nose."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Helen said trying to reassure Nikki and patting her arm. "Just relax"

"Relax?" Nikki hissed gripping the armrests even harder. "Amongst all this lot? They have one foot in the grave most of them."

"Rubbish, Nikki, you're exaggerating." Helen shook her head in exasperation.

"I am? Well, then have a look on the back seat," Nikki said pointing behind her.

Helen turned her head and looked in the direction Nikki had pointed. Reluctantly she had to admit that the old man sitting there with an oxygen mask clamped to his wrinkled face and a big iron lung next to him did seem a little pale and not all that present. She slowly turned back to look at Nikki who continued in a hushed voice.

"And have you noticed how every one is staring at us?"

"You're imagining things, Nikki." Helen said, but frowned a bit. She had to admit, that Nikki might be right. She did have an uncanny feeling of being observed. Yet she could not catch the eyes of anyone, nor had she managed to catch anyone staring openly at them.

"Oh, am I? Then why are the two grannies on the front row point their fingers at me?"

Helen looked up and recognized the pair of old ladies who had passed them at the station. She also remembered them starring at Nikki there. She caught the faint whiff of smoke and turned to look at Nikki frantically puffing on a cigarette.

"Nikki, you can't smoke in here." Helen said with a shock, realizing why they were being starred at again.

"Hell, I can! I need this! It's the only thing that will keep my nerves from failing me." Nikki said harshly, dragging the smoke furiously from the cigarette. As the two old ladies kept starring at her and pointing their fingers in disgust, she shouted across the bus:

"Oi, you never seen someone smoke before?"

"Nikki, put it out now!" Helen said sternly, using her best governor voice. They had attracted the attention of most of the passengers by now. Nikki scowled furiously, but put the last bit of the cigarette out, though very reluctantly.

As nothing more happened the other passengers turned their attention to other things than the pair of young women. Nikki continued to look very disgruntled for the next 30 minutes, and Helen kept silent as she reckoned it would serve no purpose trying to speak to the sour looking woman beside her.

"Right, I'm officially going insane." Nikki suddenly said, startling Helen.

"Can't you smell it?" Nikki continued as she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"What?" Helen said with a puzzled look.

"The smell of old people," Nikki said. "There is always an air of urine around them. It's the bloody incontinence that does it. Old people can't keep themselves clean."

Helen raised an eyebrow. She had a hard time believing any of the elderly people around them would categories as not being able to handle their own hygiene. Granted they were over all 60, but most looked very mobile and in good health, the women immaculate dressed and with perfect makeup and the men smartly dressed in suits and ties.

"I hate the stench. It makes me feel sick to the stomach," Nikki kept on, but she found little understanding from Helen.

"Well, if you'll excuse me? This old lady needs to powder her nose," Helen had had enough, both literally and indirect. She had enough of Nikki's bickering about old people and she badly needed to visit the ladies room and roughly pushed Nikki to make her move so she could get out of her seat. Nikki didn't look impressed as she let Helen pass. But in doing so she suddenly found herself almost facing a very shapely bottom. She had to resist the urge to clasp her hand around the owner. It was not appropriate to have these thoughts, but she was hard pressed not to have them. Helen finally managed to squeeze past her and Nikki sighed with relief. She leaned back into the seat trying to move her legs into a more comfortable position, feeling they had started to get pins and needles.

The bus suddenly jerked and began to slide. Somehow the driver managed to keep the bus on the road, but it had been a close call. Nikki sighed deeply, half in relief that nothing more had happened considering the driver and half in despair over her disastrous day.

Helen came back looking a bit out of sorts and with her cardigan closely wrapped around her, despite the fact that the bus resembled a Swedish sauna. Nikki unfolded her long frame and let Helen in to her seat by the window. Silence had fallen between them. Not an uncomfortable one, though some tension was felt. What exactly the tension was a result of, neither of them could tell, but there was definitely something there in the air.

Nikki began to feel restless. The warmth in the bus made her queasy as the various smells hit her nostrils. Old people do smell, she thought to herself, but didn't feel the urge to have Helen reprimanding her again, so she kept quiet. It smelled like wet dog mixed with urine, musty clothes and the inside of old boots, topped off with musk and lavender. She couldn't cope with it.

"It's really a horrible smell," she gasped. "Seriously, can't you smell it?"

"It's me," came the whsipered reply from Helen.

This completely knocked the wind out of Nikki, who looked absolutely astounded at Helen.

"What do you mean?" she finally managed to ask.

"I had a "wee" accident at the toilet. I was about to sit down when the bus jerked, and I let go by accident." Helen said very silently, turning a deep crimson and not meeting Nikki's eyes.

Nikki was too stunned to speak, but when she finally snapped out of it, it was only to burst into fits of uncontrolled laughter, only making Helen blush even deeper and feeling totally mortified. After a good 5 minutes, which seemed like 50 to Helen, she got herself under control.

"I'm sorry, Helen," she said as she carefully wiped her eyes. "I know I shouldn't have laughed at you again, but it was simply too funny. Is that why you're clutching that big cardigan around you?" She pointed at piece of clothes in question.

"Yes, I got a huge patch on the front of my trousers. It needs to dry." Helen said still feeling mortified.

"Right… you definitely need a drink," Nikki said and pulled out a hipflask from her pocket. Handing it over to Helen she said. "It's whiskey, it will do you good."

Helen carefully took the hipflask. She took a swig of the content and enjoyed the sensations it gave her. As she was about to take a second gulp, one of the old ladies from the back of the bus came to a halt in front of them and asked:

"Are you two lesbians?"

The whiskey went down the wrong way, making Helen choke on it and cough violently. Nikki grasped the hipflask from her, noting the look of horror on the Scot's face.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," the old lady said sending Helen a worried look. "I didn't mean to embarrass you. It's just my granddaughter is a lesbian too and you look so alike…" She hurried off leaving Nikki to help Helen regain her composure.

If any of them had thought that the journey could not possibly become any worse, they were sorely mistaken. It did get worse. A lot worse as a matter of fact.

Halfway along the journey a big, burly looking woman taking up two seats on one of the front rows had raised her enormous body and picked up the bus microphone. Clad in pink and lilac topped with an obvious fake blonde wig, the woman had reminded Nikki of a real life version of miss piggy. This she had pointed out to Helen, who again had almost choked on the third swig from the hipflask.

It turned out that the woman was the tour leader, which unfortunately meant she had the right to force her ideas of a happy journey down on the poor innocent bus passengers. Her first idea being a name game which quickly turned into nothing, much to Nikki and Helen's relief, as none of the first 10 people could remember anything other than their own names, and some barely even that.

Her next idea was more of a catastrophe, at least from both Nikki and Helen's view: A karaoke sing-along contest with songs from before their birth.

Nikki almost fell off her seat as she was knocked hard on the head by an old man who nearly had a coronary as he danced up the aisle in the bus to "Singing in the rain". It was just a blessing there was no poles for him to swing around, a la Fred Astaire. It didn't get much better when the soulful voice of an old dear impersonating Doris Day breathed out the lyrics of "Sentimental Journey" making Nikki and Helen groan out loudly as they remembered how their journey had been so far and it was far from a sentimental one.

As the next song began Nikki got a nasty look on her face.

"There'll be bluebirds over

The white cliffs of Dover,

Tomorrow

Just you wait and see.

There'll be joy and laughter

And peace ever after,

Tomorrow

When the world is free,"

"…of this lot... Wouldn't I just love to push them all into the English Channel." she mumbled as a microphone was suddenly put in her hand and the last part of her sentence was clearly heard over the entire bus as the music had stopped playing.

50 pairs of partially sighted eyes were looking sternly at her, making her squirm. Nominated as the next singer, with no way to back out, she quickly glanced at the screen showing the text of the next song to be played. She hated singing, but knew she would have to in order to keep the lot happy, so she could stay on the bus all the way to Glasgow.

She groaned inwardly when she saw exactly what the next song, which she was expected to sing along to was. She turned to Helen, making sure the mic was away from her mouth. "Of all the bloody songs they could have picked, they give me the most un-lesbian-friendly tune ever written! Call me paranoid, but they've done it on purpose!" If Nikki was looking for sympathy then she sure as hell wasn't going to get any from Helen who just laughed in her face.

"Just shut up and sing!"

Nikki clenched her teeth as the introduction started and through her tightened jaw she let the words roll reluctantly off her tongue.

"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman  
Giving all your love to just one man  
Oh, you have bad times, and you have good times  
Doing things that you don't understand

Hey, but if you love him, you'll forgive him  
Even though he's hard to understand  
And if you love him, be proud of him  
'Cause after all, he's just a man

Stand by your man  
Give him two arms to cling to  
And someone warm to come to  
When nights are cold and lonely…"

When the tedium of the song was over, Nikki dropped the microphone into Helen's lap and tetchily ignored the rapturous clapping from her decrepit travel companions who seemed overjoyed. This was humiliation gone too far.

"Don't dare say a word!" Nikki could tell Helen was itching to be her usual sarcastic self and made warning that if she did the result would not be pretty.

"Aw, poor baby. Don't worry, what happens on the bus, stays on the bus. My lips are sealed." And Helen stuck to her word for the next two hours as she drifted off into a much needed sleep. It was only when she felt the bus come to a sudden halt that she opened her eyes and took a look around her to see what was going on.

"Well, looks like we made it back to Glasgow in one piece after all." Helen turned to see Nikki stand up in the aisle.

"We're here already?"

"Yep. We're at Buchanan bus station. And it's pretty quiet by the looks of it, so getting a taxi shouldn't be a problem. You getting a cab back to Stirling?"

"I hadn't really thought that far…but I guess so, even if it will cost me a small fortune." Helen joined Nikki in the queue to exit the bus and followed slowly until they were both back outside in the perishing cold air.

"I'd have offered to drop you off, but we're going in different directions, so…"

"Yeah…" Both women looked away from each other, trying to think of something else to say. The impending goodbyes weighing heavily on them both, so much so they were lost for much needed words. It was Nikki who spoke up first.

"Looks like your suitcase is ready…"

Helen felt the tears prickle at the corners of her eyes and run freely down her cheeks. She tried in vain to wipe them away before Nikki could see she was upset, but she wasn't quick enough.

"Just ignore me, I hate saying goodbyes. It seems as though it's a common occurrence these days."

"I know the feeling," Nikki nodded in acknowledgement. "But I guess they can't be avoided…everyone leaves sooner or later." silence was upon them once more and this time it was Helen who broke its spell.

"Well, I guess it's goodbye then Nikki…" Helen let go of her case and leaned up to place a soft kiss on Nikki's cheek.

"Goodbye Helen…and have a good Christmas whatever your plans are." With a lump forming in her throat, Nikki turned away quickly, taking in one last look at the heartbroken face of Helen Stewart as she did so.

She walked away, towards the taxi queue leaving Helen behind at the bus stance and she took a seat next to two fellow passengers who were resting on a bench. An old man and woman, who looked not a day under 70, wrapped in each others arms like young love birds.

"Sing to me Harry, to pass the time…" The old ladies husband gave her a gentle peck on the cheek and pulled her in tighter to keep her warm.

"Anything for you, sweetheart," he replied softly.

Nikki listened to the gentle whisper of the song and the words forced her to keep her composure.

We'll meet again,

Don't know where,

Don't know when

But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Keep smiling through,

Just like you always do

Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away…

The words rang so true, and deep inside she prayed that somewhere, somehow, her path would once again cross with Helens.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

10am - Christmas Day

The forty-minute taxi journey home from Glasgow to her sisters had cost Nikki an arm and a leg. January was going to be a very tight month indeed thanks to this trip, but she couldn't help but think it was all worth it as she was greeted by the smiling faces of her excited nephews at the front door.

It had been 5am, but the boys had been up, as had their very tired parents, since an hour before; the anticipation of Christmas being too much for them. They wanted their presents and they wanted them there and then! Which meant Nikki couldn't just hop of too bed like she had planned, for a much needed nap.

She had stayed awake for the entire bus journey, mostly thanks to the OAP Karaoke session, but also because one gaze over at a sound asleep Helen and she had been captivated enough to stare at the woman for nearly an hour. It had been the perfect opportunity to analyze the delicate features that she against her will found so beautiful. The perfectly shaped lips, the almond eyes with the abnormally long lashes….Nikki was hooked.

Empty boxes lay scattered across the floor of the living room, and joining the mess was brightly coloured wrapping paper which was torn to shreds in an almost savage attack to get the presents underneath. The brats, Adam and Aidan had been like wild coyotes in their twenty minute rampage to see what "Santa" had brought them during the night, much to their parents and Nikki's amusement. But the fun of the festivities hadn't lasted all that long.

David, Nikki's brother in-law had soon retreated to his car to try out his new Satnav, Jennifer was struggling with the turkey in the kitchen and the boys were battling it out amongst themselves on their new Sony games console.

The time alone gave Nikki opportunity to reflect…time that she wished she didn't have. For it had left her thinking of Helen Stewart. Where was she? What was she doing? Was she having fun, or was she like Nikki, and thinking of where she would rather be? And with whom she would rather be?

She wanted to kick herself for walking away from that bus station without even as much as a second glance back. The last memory she would have of Helen would be a forlorn, sad expression which she couldn't read. Was it sadness at having to part ways? She prayed it was, but how could she be sure? Helen and herself had done nothing but fight and snipe on the entire journey, hardly the best start for a lasting, meaningful relationship. But yet something kept niggling at her. She was by no means psychic, though somehow her instinct was telling her she had made a big mistake. Despite the initial tension between the women, Nikki couldn't help but feel there was a connection there, a connection that she had never felt with another living person. Had fate been trying to get her to listen since the moment the gorgeous blonde had sat next to her on the plane? And had her ignorance been the mystical catalyst for the wild goose chase around Britain? She told herself she would never find out unless she did what her gut was telling her. But she needed to act now. The time for reflecting was over.

Grabbing her jacket from the hanger in the hallway she left the house in lightening speed.

"Hey Nik, where you off too?" David asked as he got out of the car, ready to make his way back inside.

"Can I borrow the car, Dave? I'll bring it back in one piece, promise." Nikki's words were rushed, almost breathless.

"Eh, sure," David handed her the keys, puzzled but unquestioning. In eight years of being with Jennifer he had come to learn that his sister in-law was a complication best left undiscovered, and at times even ignored. Which was just as well, because within seconds the car roared down the driveway and out of sight - bound for the historic city of Stirling.

Nikki was mindful of the slippery roads, yet she drove speedily with determination she had not felt for a long time. She knew what she had to do and where she had to go. For the first time she did not feel lost, but sure as to where she was heading, not only literally but also in her life. She increased the speed slightly, taking advantage of the M80 not being totally covered in ice and snow. After fifty minutes she was able to take the exit to Stirling. She quickly hurled the car off the highway and proceeded through the roundabout towards the town. She racked her brain, and remembered how Helen had briefly told her that her father was a minister in some congregation, which Nikki could not remember the name off. Where was a church when you needed one? Nikki mused as she drove around in circles without really knowing where to go.

After having driven around for almost thirty minutes, she finally came across a church that looked to be open. She squinted through the windscreen trying to decipher the text on the ancient sign outside.

"St. Alban's Church, be blessed Ye who enters," it said in large curved letters.

Nikki frowned. Never having been all that religious she had no idea which church to look for, but she did remember something mentioned about Helen's father being a Presbyterian Minister. She made a quick decision and got out of the car. The air was bitterly cold making her shudder slightly. She stood for a moment considering what to do before striding up to the church door which she tried to open.

The church was quiet and she was not sure whether to take that as a good or a bad sign. Nikki walked up the aisle looking at the delicately carved pews. She came to a halt in front of the altarpiece. It was carved out of one large piece of wood and looked ancient. The paint had started to peel off in more than one place. Yet there was something deeply fascinating about the picture of a young woman holding a baby in her arms. Her eyes, strong and bright, were filled with love for the child. Nikki guessed it was Mary with the baby Jesus. Though she did not have any specific interest in the Bible the scene in front of her rooted her to the spot. Deeply in thought she had not heard the door open. Startled she spun around when a soft, yet crisp voice spoke behind her

"Can I help you, miss?"

A small white haired man with big spectacles had entered. Judging from his clothes Nikki took that he was the priest.

"Erm… no… yes… Are you Reverent Stewart?" she said with a flustered face.

"No, I'm afraid not," he said smiling, looking almost apologetic at Nikki.

"Well… I didn't really think you were," Nikki said. She suddenly felt deflated and without the feeble energy that had made her set out on her journey to Stirling. She hung her head and her disappointment must have shown, as the white haired priest quietly walked to her side and touched her arm softly.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Nikki looked up and acknowledged the worried look on the old man's face. She smiled slightly and drew a hand through her hair. She liked the old man, who looked at her with such evident concern, Not many people had ever looked at her like that, and not many people had ever offered her help. She wanted to confide in him, as she felt an enormous need for finally telling somebody about her fears.

"I'm afraid that no one can help me," she finally said. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but this morning I might have made the biggest one in my life so far. A mistake that I might never get the chance to make right."

She suddenly felt tears building in her eyes. Blinking angrily she tried to stay composed.

"You make mistakes throughout your life. And sometimes you learn from them," the priest said.

"But what if I've thrown away the best thing in my life?"

"Then you must search for it till you find it again," the old priest said in a crisp, confident voice. "And rest assured that you will find it, if you search hard enough. You must have faith, my child."

"I am not religious," Nikki said shortly.

"Faith has nothing to do with religion," he said. "Faith is what is in your heart. Are you ready to embrace love? Do you believe in what you feel in there?" He pointed at Nikki's heart.

Nikki looked bewildered at him. How could he possibly know what she felt?

"Erm… I think so…" she hesitated

"Ah, but do you believe in it?" he insisted. "Do you dare to love? You will need to be brave and daring to truly love."

Nikki looked thoughtful. She tried to imagine what life would be without love and without Helen. She suddenly realized that she could not. Even in the short space of time she had become so aware of every little thing about Helen that it felt empty and lonely without her.

"Thanks father," she said and smiled. "I understand and I know what I have to do. There is just one more thing. Can you tell me where the Presbyterian Church in Stirling is?"

The old priest smiled and nodded in consent.

Helen had looked forlorn at Nikki's straight back as she quickly walked away without looking back. She could not help wishing for Nikki to turn around and come back. Even for a silly thing like asking her for a phone number. But it had not happened. Nikki had just strode away, soon disappearing into a taxi, disappearing into the night.

The wind blew icily around her, but it was not the only thing making her shudder and feel chilled to the bones. It was a much more fundamental thing: She was alone once more. She was suddenly 6 years old again, standing in the cold wind on her own having said 'Goodbye' to her mother. Helen folded her arms around her in a feeble attempt to keep warm as the tears began to roll down her cheeks; quickly crystallizing to pearls of ice. Helen closed her eyes to rid herself of the unpleasant thoughts. When she opened them again she was back in the present time.

Having made up her mind she resolutely took her suitcase and walked towards the single taxi left at an otherwise deserted bus station. She had to knock three times on the window before the driver even bothered to roll it down.

"Can you take me to Stirling?" Helen asked politely.

"Erh?" the driver grunted blinking his eyes sleepily at Helen.

"I said, can you take me to Stirling?" she repeated fast loosing what little there was left of her patience. This trip has cost her not only an excessive amount of money, but maybe also something that perhaps was worth much more that money could buy.

"Gonna cost you a lot, love' " the driver said, clearly trying to avoid having to drive anywhere.

"I don't bloody care if it's gonnea cost me every last penny I own," Helen exploded. "Just get me there now!"

Clearly disgruntled the driver finally agreed and started the engine. Helen had climbed into the taxi with her suitcase and feeling a slight gratitude for the fact that the taxi was actually warm inside.

She leaned back into the seat with a big sigh as the taxi set off towards Stirling. This has really not been her day, or should she say days? Helen could hardly remember anymore. It felt like years since she had started this journey. So many things had happened, both good and bad.

Even if her time with Nikki had started out in slightly strained way, they had eventually bonded in the most unusual of ways. Laughter had ended up being their sanctuary in the madness. And she had needed to laugh. It had been far too long since she had enjoyed herself and been really truly happy. In fact she could not even remember the last time when she had felt so good about herself.

Granted Nikki had been a bitch to her, but she had also been kind and generous. And first of all she had been good company. There had been the odd awkward moment, but Helen had not once felt alone when being with Nikki.

Helen looked out the window as the snow clad landscape wisped past by. Once again it made her think of Christmas and why she had set out on this specific trip in the first place. Many years ago Christmas had been a happy time, something to look forward to. But that had changed rather suddenly one year, when little Helen Stewart had been just 6 years old. She remembered being seated in the church where her father was minister, listening to the peaceful hymn sung and her fathers quivering voice. What exactly he had said she failed to remember, but the feeling of coldness and emptiness were still there, just as fresh as always.

She bowed her head and felt tears prickle behind her closed eyes. Her mind began to spin and strange images flared before her eyes. She must have dozed off because the taxi had come to an abrupt halt.

"We're in Stirling," the taxi driver said gruffly. "Anywhere in particular you wanna go?"

Helen quickly composed herself. "St. Moden's cemetery, please".

If she had cared she would have noticed the puzzled look on the taxi drivers face. He did not say anything and within twenty minutes they had arrived. Helen pulled out her suitcase out of the taxi and paid the driver a small fortune without blinking. The driver hardly thanked her and drove off without another word. She then grabbed hold of the suitcase and began to drag it through the snow across the churchyard. Her action made no sense as she had no clue how she would get away from the cemetery, but at that specific moment she did not care about that or anything else. She had a mission to complete and she was almost there.

Helen finally found what she was looking for. Around the corner behind a small chapel in the shadows of a large oak tree, and surrounded by a low, leafy hedge, the burial plot of her mother was shielded from the wind. The headstone was covered in snow. Helen brushed it away with a cold hand and read her mum's name aloud.

"Elizabeth Stewart"

The tears had started to fall again. Helen sobbed feeling even more miserable than before. The snow had soaked through her shoes and her thin jacket was not much to shield her from the icy wind. Her jeans clung wet and frozen to her legs, as she had fallen to her knees in the snow.

Her brain had stopped functioning, or at least it felt like it had. Only one thing kept repeating itself over and over again as a mantra to which she could cling in order to keep her sanity. Nikki. How ever strange it seemed, all Helen could think of in the middle of her misery was Nikki Wade. Her face kept popping up in her inner eye and her voice kept ringing in Helen's ears. There was no mistaking that the essence of Nikki had penetrated Helen's soul.

With a sudden flash of enlightenment Helen realized why.

'I am in love,' she thought bemused. 'I am deeply in love with Nikki.' Her eyes widened as all the pieces slowly, but surely fell into place.

Then it hit her with full force.

'But she has left me… like mum…' For a moment the world seemed to open for her feet, then a strange calmness fell over her and she frowned. 'No, I lost her myself, because I didn't dare admit what I was feeling.'

She sighed deeply and bowed her head.

"Mum, I don't know if you can hear me, but I have to tell you something." She hesitated. "I am in love, really deeply in love for the first time in my life, but I don't know what to do about it…. I might even have thrown away the best thing that has ever happened to me… "she started to sob helplessly again "I am in love with Nikki Wade, and I might have lost her forever…"

"No, you haven't…"

Helen was not sure of what she had heard. It was like someone had said: "No, you haven't…" but surely her mother could not have spoken to her, or could she?

"You don't understand," Helen whispered. "I let her go without telling her that I love her."

"You just told me now…" the voice spoke again.

Helen gasped and stood, almost tripping over in her haste. She whirled around and looked into soft brown eyes filled with love.

Nikki had quickly found the cemetery with the help of the directions the old priest had given her. She pulled the car up and got out. Quickly walking towards the gate she noticed the marks in the snow. It looked like something heavy had been dragged along the ground, and she smiled to herself. She knew what it was; a small fiery Scott battling with her enormous suitcase.

She could easily follow the tracks in the snow and she soon rounded the corner at the chapel. What she saw made her heart leap in joy but also contract painfully when she realized that the small huddled over figure was crying her eyes out.

Nikki caught the last few mumbled words: "…I am in love with Nikki Wade, and I might have lost her forever…"

And she hoarsely said: "No, you haven't…"

The small figure did not seem to have heard, because she kept muttering to herself.

"You don't understand… I let her go without telling her that I love her."

Nikki took one more step forward and gently said: "You just told me now…"

Startled the figure jumped up and whirled around her face a mask of shock, eyes wide open and the mouth gaping.

"Nikki…but how?" She gasped in amazement, unsure whether to believe this was actually happening to her.

Nikki shrugged.

"I couldn't leave you without saying a proper goodbye." Helen held her breath as Nikki walked up to her until they were millimetres apart. "There was something I wanted to tell you, but words aren't enough; so let me show you instead."

Nikki closed the tiny space between them, her lips covering Helen's in a kiss that started with hesitation and escalated suddenly with a passion that caught them both off guard.

Helen felt the set of lips attach to her own and in a split second her senses spun out of control. It felt nothing like she had imagined it to feel; no, it felt a million times more amazing than imagination could have conjured. Like Nikki had promise, the kiss spoke a thousand words. It was perfect; Nikki was perfect…and this time there was no denying how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

"Can I take you home?" Nikki asked breathlessly as she reluctantly pulled away. Helen awkwardly bent her head to avoid eye contact; an action that didn't go amiss with Nikki. "I didn't mean to imply that, well…you know, I just…" Helen placed her finger over Nikki's lips to silence her.

"Nikki, in Scotland I have no home anymore. My Dad died last year; we hadn't spoken in almost five years. I came here to make my peace because the guilt was eating away at me. I thought if I came here today to say my goodbyes then I could put the past behind me and start afresh." Helen shook her head. "I haven't been happy in a very long time, and I put it down to the pain I felt at not getting the opportunity to make things right with my Dad, but this trip has made me realise that it's not that at all. I'm lonely Nikki, and with you I don't feel that." Helen felt the arms around her waist tighten.

"Come home with me instead then. If you think you can handle spending Christmas with a "self-centred, tight-fisted, egomaniac". I think that's what you called me." Nikki smiled as Helen's laughter rung round the deserted churchyard.

"I think you'll find I said you were a moody, sarcastic cow." Helen giggled.

"Well, if that's the way you feel…" Nikki turned away playfully and started to walk back to the car.

"No, wait for me." Helen ran after her, which was no easy task with a two-stone suitcase in tow. "You could at least offer to help me." Helen struggled and Nikki came back to give her a hand.

"Bloody women," She muttered under her breath and earned a punch on the arm.

"At least I can keep a hold of my luggage, unlike some."

"So it's my fault the airline is staffed by incompetent imbeciles?" Nikki spat out and Helen shrugged with a smile - until something caught her eye. The smile turned into a toothy, smug grin and Nikki had to follow Helen's eye line to see what had caused so much amusement.

"Well, well, well…Nikki Wade has an old Volvo?" Helen feigned shock. "I never thought I'd see the day." Nikki rolled her eyes and put Helens suitcase in the trunk.

"It's my brother-in-laws, actually."

"Aye, so you say." Helen climbed inside smugly, feeling like she was finally getting her own back on Nikki's earlier behaviour. "I just hope it's got the engine power to get us back to Larkhall."

Helen and Nikki bantered back and forth all the way back to Nikki's sisters. But this time there was no hate in their words…only love.

The End


End file.
